There are times in life where work and inspiration cross. I am in a profession where this can happen on an almost daily basis. Being a college tennis coach I can be inspired by my athletes performing at a very high level, accomplishing something off-court they felt was beyond them, or even by competing athletes who may do something extraordinary during a match. Very rarely have I been inspired by another coach, especially during a match - and especially while I am supposed to be coaching against him during the heat of battle. My father has inspired me to pursue coaching to the highest level I can attain. This occurrence was not from my dad, but from the opposing coach during our match on Friday. We were slated to play Washburn University from Topeka, KS. They are currently the 31st ranked tennis team in NCCA Division II. It was guaranteed to be a tough match as we are currently ranked 25th. Tennis matches have a flow that has been pretty much the same since, well forever. The teams come out for warm-ups, the coaches have small talk, exchange line-ups, and then commence playing after brief introductions. This match just had a different feel.
Dave Alden is the head coach of the Ichabods and when we shook hands to greet one another the day changed. We shared stories of previous matches against common opponents, did our exchanges, and just shot the breeze. The match began and our coaching duties took over. The intensity of the match was very clear during the doubles. Neither of us made too many moves to the court as we let the matches work themselves out. As the three doubles matches played we made few comments towards each other. The first point went to FSC but Washburn tied it up with a victory at number three doubles. The deciding point would be played out at number one doubles. Even though Dave’s team was down he remained positive and urged them on through the points. There was no outward stress, no harsh words, just reassurance to the players of how important they were for the team. As a coach there is nothing we can do but encourage during these times. We train our athletes to do their best and hopefully they can translate that when they are faced with adverse situations. Number one doubles finished and found FSC up 2-1. There would be a quick 10 minute break and then the warrior portion of the match would unfold. Six singles matches would decide who would be the victor on this day. These six matches can be a hair-raising experience and I felt that they would be very tight.
The Washburn team was traveling during their spring break to play these matches. I noticed that Dave had his two young daughters with him and thought that was pretty cool that he got to travel with them. They were entrenched in the match just like a rabid fan. They cheered when there was a good shot and encouraged throughout the entire match. I commented to Dave about this and then he inspired me. Dave is a single dad. His wife passed away a few years back from cancer. It was a quick diagnosis and a rapid decline. Dave has been a single dad since and tries to spend as much time with his daughters as is possible with his profession. This is amazing because as a college tennis coach I know how much I have missed from my own daughter but I have always had a doubles partner to be there for me. He is now playing singles and trying to balance his professional life with being a daddy and a mommy. What struck me is that Dave and I are the same age. We are within 3 days of having the same birthday. His daughters are very close to my daughter’s age. During this heated match I instantly wanted to know more about him. Oh yeah, we won at number one singles and lost at number 3 so now the overall score was 3-2 in the race to five. There were four matches still on at varying points of completion but I just wanted to find out more about Dave.
FSC moved one point closer to victory with a straight sets win at number 2 but suffered a setback at number 5 singles. The overall match score was 4-3 with 2 matches still undecided. One was very tight deep in the third set. It was at this moment that I realized how cool this guy was that I was supposed to be coaching my guts out to beat. We were viewing number four singles from our bleachers when he told me that he honored his late wife by doing an Ironman triathlon. Yes, you heard that correctly, he completed the grueling 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, and 26 mile run to honor his wife. Many of his friends had done them to raise money for the medical expenses during her treatment so he thought that he would do the same. I almost forgot, FSC clinched the match at number four singles to go up 5-3 with number six still playing for pride. Here is the part that blew my mind and will for sure blow the minds of my friends who have done these types of events. Dave trained for under 3 months to accomplish this. He decided in June to do it and completed the event in August. Notice I used completed and not competed. The only competition he had was within his mind and that was easy. He was doing it for someone he loved and who could not do it for herself. I use the word easy lightly. He had never ridden over 60 miles on his bike, had trained for less than 3 months, and it was 96 degrees the day of the race. One of the funnier moments of the story was when he was sitting in registration and started speaking to other racers. They asked him about his training regiment and how many he had done. He went through his timeline and they all told him he was crazy and it couldn’t be done. He calmly told them he was doing it for a completely different reason than them and that he would do it. He has used that tenacity with his tennis program and regularly tells his team, “When someone tells you that you cannot do something prove to them you can.” I told him I didn’t feel that I could make the 2.4 mile swim. He stated that he had been a lifeguard and that part was okay. The fun happened on the 61st mile of the bike ride when he hit the mark that was the furthest he had been. At mile 100 he started to feel cramping in his right thigh and left calf. He was determined to make it back to transition and not cramp on the road by himself. He said that there were ambulances everywhere and that there were racers down everywhere along the route. As he got into the bike/run transition he checked his cramping and it had dissipated. Anybody that completes or competes in an Ironman triathlon is a beast to me. Most train for 9 months to a year for this type of event, become consumed by diet, training schedule, and let everything else go by the wayside. Dave was consumed with being a father to two grieving daughters and was determined to honor his late wife with putting one foot in front of the other.
The match ended with FSC winning at number six singles to close out the day with a 6-3 victory. I also got a win that day because I know I am doing it right. We have one chance to prove to our children, co-workers, and the players we try to influence that you cannot quit because you are tired or it becomes hard. Dave finished his race in 16 hours and 2 minutes. He has been honored by Washburn University with The Living Well at Washburn award. The award honors the employee that shows self-leadership skills necessary to maintain their own wellness status. I bet his determination to accomplish such an amazing fete has been bantered around by millions but it is those special few who actually pull the trigger and throw caution to the wind that accomplish the unbelievable or for most of us the unattainable.
The conversation continued until both of our teams seemed to come get us so that his could leave the facility and mine could begin a well deserved weekend off. Before he left he told me he is not done. He has aspirations of doing the Ironman on Kona in Hawaii which is the granddaddy of them all. Dave is a great candidate for this honor and I feel that with his persistence he will get that call to participate. As I write this I am looking at my beautiful life knowing how precious each moment is with the ones we love. I am looking forward to watching our DVR’d supercross with my own daughter tonight and cheering on our favorite riders. Dave has planted an indelible mark of honor on his daughters’ mother which they will always cherish. I thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to meet Dave Alden and cannot wait for the opportunity to share his stories from Kona. I really hope he gives himself at least 6 months this time, but knowing Dave he would make it anyway.
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