Performance…. That word can be connected to other words. It was a great performance, subpar performance, so so performance, a performance that was out of this world, piss poor performance, and peak performance. This one word evokes emotion for those that it becomes attached to and can affect results for a period of time. It doesn’t matter if it’s business, medicine, or even sports performance matters.
How we judge performances varies upon what it is that is happening. If we are watching our favorite concert and the show is everything we wanted, we give a standing ovation. If we ace a test we get accolades from friends and family. When we see a beautiful sunset or sunrise we might say mother nature hit it out of the park. Sports is the one area where a good performance can be judged with a “W” and a bad performance gets you the “L”.
The sports performance is where most of my time is spent. Although I hate that my entire worth as a coach is based on W’s and L’s it sure pushed me to get the most out of my athletes. There worth, rather correct or incorrect, is also judged upon the same criteria from stakeholders and friends. If they win most don’t care if they played badly and what’s even stranger, if they lose it is of no consequence if they played the match of their life but came out on the wrong end of the score. This is where I have an issue. Of course I want them to win but I also feel that you cannot control whether you win or lose. You can only control the effort you put into the performance. Furthermore, you can influence your probability of winning if the work you put in during the practice time is also rated as high performance. Athletes cannot expect to win if the effort outside of competition is less than the effort put forth during actual play.
There have been many moments as a coach where I have watched a player get beat, there is a difference in getting beat versus losing, knowing that they have done as much work as possible and have done their best during the competition only to come out on the wrong end of the score. They come off knowing that based on the L next to their name they have failed. It is the rare athlete that can judge their own performance on the merits of the event and not by a letter associated with it. We have been so force fed winning and losing as the ultimate success measure. I agree that winning feels a lot better than losing but if an athlete doesn’t perform to the level they feel they should, even when they are victorious, there is a feeling of being incomplete. Sometimes athletes win because they have more talent and not necessarily because they had an outstanding performance. This knowledge base for an athlete is a high level of competency and is rare.
Rating performances is human nature and will continue to be so for as long as we are keeping score. The entertainment industry has even turned singing and dancing into a sport. Is there nothing left that we can enjoy just for the sure pleasure of watching a great performance? I know that I am critical because it is my job and I am judged on my success. The next time you are watching a great performance enjoy it and save the judging for someone else. Oh yeah, what was the performance of this post? Just kidding.
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Sunday, February 26, 2017
I Quit...Wait, Maybe Not...No, I Quit...Let Me Think About It More
I quit! This is a phrase that just doesn’t come out of my mouth well or enough. There have been many things that I should have walked away from or learned a lesson quicker than I did. Of course, there are times when it is easy to walk away. When the yard is mowed, edged, and weed eaten, and you stare at the glory of the yard you are good. When you shake hands at the end of a golf or tennis match, complete the race, or hear the sound of the final buzzer you know the end has come. How do you quit when you don’t know if there is success or just more wasted energy? What earns the moniker, “He put up a good fight”, or “At least you got experience and know what not to do next time”?
These questions have haunted me for years and with many different experiences. There have been some amazing successes and there have also been some, what could have beens. During the successes, the effort was at a high and in the end seemed to justify the work that was required to get there. The funny thing is the failures, or experiences, also required a lot of effort and tireless energy. What led to success was not that much different from what was also deemed a failure. Is there something inside that drives us more on one thing versus the other?
Still, is there a point when you just should walk away? The investment you made that just hasn’t panned out. The diet you have tried. The career you thought you loved. The sport you took up. Is there a stopping point or just a reevaluation of what you really want out of it? I wish I had the answer because it would shore up many frustrations that I have and surely others share as well. What makes quitting so difficult to me is knowing that there has been so much blood, sweat, tears, and time put in to make it successful. I fight thinking that there is something else I can do to change the outcome to something that is more in my favor but I don’t know if it will really matter. Quitting has such a negative connotation but failing is how we learn what doesn’t work. Having this knowledge still doesn’t prepare us for the emotional rollercoaster between stop and go. Although this line of thought is something I think about daily I also know there is so much good that happens every day it is something that passes as soon as the next task hits the table. I am sure there will be a time that the answer hits me. I hope the lesson is swift and the consequences for not deciding are not too costly. Trust your gut and remember, everyone has an opinion but you are the one who needs to live for you. Go get what you want and ponder that consequences aren’t necessarily always negative.
These questions have haunted me for years and with many different experiences. There have been some amazing successes and there have also been some, what could have beens. During the successes, the effort was at a high and in the end seemed to justify the work that was required to get there. The funny thing is the failures, or experiences, also required a lot of effort and tireless energy. What led to success was not that much different from what was also deemed a failure. Is there something inside that drives us more on one thing versus the other?
Still, is there a point when you just should walk away? The investment you made that just hasn’t panned out. The diet you have tried. The career you thought you loved. The sport you took up. Is there a stopping point or just a reevaluation of what you really want out of it? I wish I had the answer because it would shore up many frustrations that I have and surely others share as well. What makes quitting so difficult to me is knowing that there has been so much blood, sweat, tears, and time put in to make it successful. I fight thinking that there is something else I can do to change the outcome to something that is more in my favor but I don’t know if it will really matter. Quitting has such a negative connotation but failing is how we learn what doesn’t work. Having this knowledge still doesn’t prepare us for the emotional rollercoaster between stop and go. Although this line of thought is something I think about daily I also know there is so much good that happens every day it is something that passes as soon as the next task hits the table. I am sure there will be a time that the answer hits me. I hope the lesson is swift and the consequences for not deciding are not too costly. Trust your gut and remember, everyone has an opinion but you are the one who needs to live for you. Go get what you want and ponder that consequences aren’t necessarily always negative.
What I Learned From Grandparents
Pancakes and sausage is always a good breakfast. Maybe not the healthiest but man do they taste good. The annual Kiwanis Club all you can eat pancake breakfast is a huge fundraiser every year but that is not what this is about. It is about my wife’s grandfather and his love of service. You see, he recently passed away but when I walked in to eat, the first thing I thought about was how much he loved this day. He was service personified. He maintained perfect attendance for 50 plus years and he lived to help. He gave his time, which was invaluable, and his money but it was the direct contact that made him so special. He would be proud to see his legacy continue. His wife, daughter, son-in-law, and great granddaughter were there serving in multiple capacities. It was a good time and a good memory.
There are other times I think of those we have lost as well. My Memaw passed away a few years ago, but she pops up many times. When she was mobile she was everywhere. If there was an event for her grandchildren or great grandchildren she attended. She continually complained about being cold or where she had to park but she was there. She would get her walker, her sweater, and her iced tea and off she would go. From dance halls, to soccer fields, tennis courts, volleyball courts, horse arenas, race tracks, and the random family event. She loved supporting her family and if she didn’t like something that you were doing she would tell you. I still carry a letter that she wrote me when I was 23. I had made a few decisions that she felt were not conducive to my future and she let me know to stop wasting what God had given me. She was a pain in the butt but she loved us and there are moments when I am by myself that I miss her immensely.
Lastly, I think about my granddaddy from time to time. He was a racer, master mechanic, business owner, and a hard ass. He loved his family but the demons were too strong. His knowledge of building and being a mechanic were huge in my eyes. I wanted him to share that vast data base but he never did. He built race cars, constructed commercial buildings, and his own house boat. I remember seeing it beside the old shop and then fishing on it where it was in port. There was a long time in my life that he was bigger than life. He taught me many lessons. The exciting part is that all the lessons were important. Some were lessons that I would like to follow and others were lessons that I would like to make sure I never repeat.
We know that we cannot keep family with us forever but we can keep the memories. There are many that pop up during my weeks and I keep the love they shared close. I loved them when they were around and am glad that they taught even if they didn’t mean to do it.
There are other times I think of those we have lost as well. My Memaw passed away a few years ago, but she pops up many times. When she was mobile she was everywhere. If there was an event for her grandchildren or great grandchildren she attended. She continually complained about being cold or where she had to park but she was there. She would get her walker, her sweater, and her iced tea and off she would go. From dance halls, to soccer fields, tennis courts, volleyball courts, horse arenas, race tracks, and the random family event. She loved supporting her family and if she didn’t like something that you were doing she would tell you. I still carry a letter that she wrote me when I was 23. I had made a few decisions that she felt were not conducive to my future and she let me know to stop wasting what God had given me. She was a pain in the butt but she loved us and there are moments when I am by myself that I miss her immensely.
Lastly, I think about my granddaddy from time to time. He was a racer, master mechanic, business owner, and a hard ass. He loved his family but the demons were too strong. His knowledge of building and being a mechanic were huge in my eyes. I wanted him to share that vast data base but he never did. He built race cars, constructed commercial buildings, and his own house boat. I remember seeing it beside the old shop and then fishing on it where it was in port. There was a long time in my life that he was bigger than life. He taught me many lessons. The exciting part is that all the lessons were important. Some were lessons that I would like to follow and others were lessons that I would like to make sure I never repeat.
We know that we cannot keep family with us forever but we can keep the memories. There are many that pop up during my weeks and I keep the love they shared close. I loved them when they were around and am glad that they taught even if they didn’t mean to do it.
Friday, February 24, 2017
The Six Mentors and a College Team
Oops, I missed a day writing yesterday. When I walked into the house last evening it was around 11:20 and I just wanted to crawl into the bed as barn duties were just around the corner. The reason for the late night was because I was hanging with the team for one of our rare late night practices. On top of the practice the team had an opportunity to interact with six acquaintances from my time in the tennis industry. These men ranged from a recent college graduate, an ENT (ears, nose, and throat doctor), an insurance guy with massive ties in the tennis industry, a very good teaching pro, a former college coach, and a successful business owner. These men have taken their time to mentor the team and give back in the best way they can. They are all accomplished tennis players. All of them had great, some would say spectacular, college careers and then have used that to become what they all are today. They were open, transparent, and didn’t pull any punches with the talent they saw versus where the players were within the scope of the team. Since I don’t have an assistant having other voices confirm, and at times giving a different voice, what we are striving for is a great help.
Tennis is such an individual pursuit when a player is competing that we often forget that it takes a great group to get to that point. There are the coaches, trainers, strength coaches, training crew, and hours of work to get to the point that player is looking across the net at his singular opponent. Many players have a small group of friends that are great at support but bad at giving the hard advice. This is where this group of six comes in to fill that void. They have nothing to gain, are already successful in their chosen field, and have been in the battles themselves. When a player complains about whatever it is they want to complain about these guys have a response that once was told to them. Experience is a teacher that is best told straight. No matter how many times I say it I am the coach and for most of the time the only voice they hear. Once that message comes from someone else there is a confirmation that gives credence to what they have heard. Some of the funny moments from last evening was when the players asked about me. I am usually brutally honest with my team and sometimes the things I say seem a bit outrageous. It was humorous to hear those stories verified by the group of six last night. The faces on the players were a mixture of “oh okay,” and “shoot, he wasn’t pulling our leg.”
It is impossible to thank the six for taking so much of their time and spending it with the team but I cannot wait until they can do it again. The team is great group of guys and I want them to be as successful as they desire. I missed writing last night but it was worth of hour of missed sleep. Find the group that can push your desires out of your comfort zone and you will more than likely reach what you are searching for.
Tennis is such an individual pursuit when a player is competing that we often forget that it takes a great group to get to that point. There are the coaches, trainers, strength coaches, training crew, and hours of work to get to the point that player is looking across the net at his singular opponent. Many players have a small group of friends that are great at support but bad at giving the hard advice. This is where this group of six comes in to fill that void. They have nothing to gain, are already successful in their chosen field, and have been in the battles themselves. When a player complains about whatever it is they want to complain about these guys have a response that once was told to them. Experience is a teacher that is best told straight. No matter how many times I say it I am the coach and for most of the time the only voice they hear. Once that message comes from someone else there is a confirmation that gives credence to what they have heard. Some of the funny moments from last evening was when the players asked about me. I am usually brutally honest with my team and sometimes the things I say seem a bit outrageous. It was humorous to hear those stories verified by the group of six last night. The faces on the players were a mixture of “oh okay,” and “shoot, he wasn’t pulling our leg.”
It is impossible to thank the six for taking so much of their time and spending it with the team but I cannot wait until they can do it again. The team is great group of guys and I want them to be as successful as they desire. I missed writing last night but it was worth of hour of missed sleep. Find the group that can push your desires out of your comfort zone and you will more than likely reach what you are searching for.
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
You're Not My Boss and I'll Wear What I Want
Today it hit me that there was more to talk about from my discussion with my players from last evening. One of them mentioned that they couldn’t imagine working for anybody else and have someone else determine their schedule and how much they make. Another player mentioned that he would never work anywhere that had a dress code or uniform. If you can ponder that for a moment, there is small guarantee that we discussed this further.
First, we will discuss working for yourself versus not. It doesn’t really matter whether you are corporate, small business, or an entrepreneur you are working for someone. If you are corporate employee there are business hours, holidays, paid vacation, and a particular clientele that you are trying to gain. If you are a small business you also have business hours, holidays become optional, you probably aren’t getting paid on vacation, but you still have a certain clientele you are trying to gain. As an entrepreneur, you mirror the small business but you may not have the overhead attached to an office or as much staff but you still are going after the clientele needed to be successful. The part that became the argument for the evening was that if they worked for themselves they did not have to work for anybody. I attempted to make the point that no matter what you do you are always working for someone. If you are working for a corporation you are working for a boss who is working for shareholders. If you have a small business or are an entrepreneur, you are still working for someone. These people you are working for are your customers. If you teach tennis you work for those you are trying to teach. If you are a realtor you are working for the seller or the buyer. An attorney works for his client. It doesn’t matter what you do and if you work for yourself you are going to work for someone.
The second part was the whole dress code/uniform debate. This is just a fun argument but I feel has a lot of validity. Doctors wear white robes, painters wear white clothes, teachers wear flats and teacher clothes. I coach college tennis so there are a lot of red and grey polos with khaki shorts. Even though over the past few years the dress has become more casual there are still industries that wear suites every day. Think about going to Starbucks, McDonald’s, Publix, etc. and you know what they are wearing and if they are in management or just staff. We all wear a uniform or have a dress code. Even when we want to be a rebel there is a dress code for that. When I was in high school you would have been Goth. When I was in college you were a granola. It doesn’t really matter what the industry is or what your profession is you are going to wear what is demanded to be successful in your position. It is very rare that those that abandon what is accepted that they succeed. We all want to be individuals and have our own style. That is awesome if it fits with what we are trying to be successful doing.
These conversations are incredibly fun and it is awesome when they fight back. It just means that they are thinking. I am not saying I am correct I am just saying what I have seen during all my time observing those working for their clients. So for all of you who don’t want to work for anybody make sure you wear your uniform.
First, we will discuss working for yourself versus not. It doesn’t really matter whether you are corporate, small business, or an entrepreneur you are working for someone. If you are corporate employee there are business hours, holidays, paid vacation, and a particular clientele that you are trying to gain. If you are a small business you also have business hours, holidays become optional, you probably aren’t getting paid on vacation, but you still have a certain clientele you are trying to gain. As an entrepreneur, you mirror the small business but you may not have the overhead attached to an office or as much staff but you still are going after the clientele needed to be successful. The part that became the argument for the evening was that if they worked for themselves they did not have to work for anybody. I attempted to make the point that no matter what you do you are always working for someone. If you are working for a corporation you are working for a boss who is working for shareholders. If you have a small business or are an entrepreneur, you are still working for someone. These people you are working for are your customers. If you teach tennis you work for those you are trying to teach. If you are a realtor you are working for the seller or the buyer. An attorney works for his client. It doesn’t matter what you do and if you work for yourself you are going to work for someone.
The second part was the whole dress code/uniform debate. This is just a fun argument but I feel has a lot of validity. Doctors wear white robes, painters wear white clothes, teachers wear flats and teacher clothes. I coach college tennis so there are a lot of red and grey polos with khaki shorts. Even though over the past few years the dress has become more casual there are still industries that wear suites every day. Think about going to Starbucks, McDonald’s, Publix, etc. and you know what they are wearing and if they are in management or just staff. We all wear a uniform or have a dress code. Even when we want to be a rebel there is a dress code for that. When I was in high school you would have been Goth. When I was in college you were a granola. It doesn’t really matter what the industry is or what your profession is you are going to wear what is demanded to be successful in your position. It is very rare that those that abandon what is accepted that they succeed. We all want to be individuals and have our own style. That is awesome if it fits with what we are trying to be successful doing.
These conversations are incredibly fun and it is awesome when they fight back. It just means that they are thinking. I am not saying I am correct I am just saying what I have seen during all my time observing those working for their clients. So for all of you who don’t want to work for anybody make sure you wear your uniform.
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
Kids, Get Uncomfortable
Having a large team has its benefits but also its downfalls. One of those is the inability to really spend time with the guys who don’t often travel with the team. When you have a roster of 16 and only travel with 8 there is a group that will always be left behind. There are rare occasions where the roles are reversed and those guys get to become the main players. Today was one of those days and it was an enlightening experience. I ask a lot of my guys and in turn they deliver on the court, the classroom, and when they leave to go out into the world. Tonight, the group that played away from home got the royal treatment of pointed questions. When they answered the first there was another one followed immediately by another. The reasoning behind these questions is to get them to think about what they are doing in college in the first place.
Let me preface this next paragraph with this: I am an American, I live close to home, and I am very comfortable. I push my players far beyond where I have gone because I see what I did wrong or passed up and do not want them to get comfortable with where they are. I want them to realize how much is available if they are willing to stretch a bit. On this beautiful Florida evening the main question was asking what they were going to be doing for internships and what they were looking for outside of school. The answers from the six involved in the conversation were sad if not alarming. Everyone wanted something close to home, some had not even started looking, and others were playing it safe and having fun this summer. I was amazed that some were not even pursuing internships in what they were studying. Why waste your time? Here was another question. “Are you planning on living with your parents when you finish school?” (Of course not was my thought) “Yes, I will until I find what I think I might like to do.” What? Are you kidding me? The next part was even more eye opening because they just don’t know. “Hey, you could go to ___________ country, couldn’t you?” “Yes, I might do that once I am established here.” My response was direct. “No, you won’t. Once you are established here you will not want to risk leaving because you will be making a living and won’t want to risk losing that to start over. Why don’t you go as soon as you graduate to see if you like it and maybe you could have success elsewhere.” His response is the reason for this entire post. “My mom likes to have me around and wants the best for me.” Really, the best for you is to not go to where you might want to go because your mom wants you close. Whose life are you living? Yours or your moms. This is not meant to be mean but you must do what you want or you will never live.
I am a parent with my own daughter who is chasing her dream. It is not mine or my wife’s. We would be negligent as parents to tell our daughter that she can’t do something because we want her close to us. She needs to experience things and to find out if she likes something by doing it. The more you do the more you find out what you like and dislike. Your opinion is invalid if you haven’t tried it or done it. I have 16 guys that I am accountable to every day. I cannot change how they were raised but I can let them know that it is okay to want more and to demand that they attempt more. I will not be their parents but I will also tell them that parents do want what is safe for each kid. Not always what is best. This last statement I feel is true because we hate to see our kids fail or suffer. Do we forget that we are what we are because of what we went through? Allow your kids to suffer and let them stretch. The most successful players I have every dealt with have put themselves in the most uncomfortable positions. Stretch, you may surprise yourself.
Monday, February 20, 2017
I'm Just Going To Work
I saw a turkey this morning. So what you say? Well, the turkey was right outside my front door when my wife and I were heading to the barn. The barn always has its moments as well. As we crested the hill the low clouds were just above the horses. You could see the bright green rye grass and the ponies off in the distance but just above there was the slightest fog. When I left to go on my morning run I saw to quail crossing the street. Even though I live in a small town, or village for my European players, there is a certain hustle and bustle that occurs. The landscapers are out manicuring yards, the citrus workers are moving tractors with spray decks or hauling the lessening amount of fruit to the plants for processing, and the locals are getting their morning coffee or cigarettes from the local store. Today the sky was a beautiful blue and the air was warmer than it has been recently. The fire trucks were getting spiffed up for another day of service and by the time I ran back they were neatly tucked away in their bays waiting to be called out. The squirrels are always playing their own brand of keep away with the cars that pass. I think it is called keep away from the approaching tires. When they lose, it can be a flattening experience. It appears the county needs to come in and maintain the shoulder of the road. The grass has made the bike/running lane about half the normal size but hey, at least we have that.
Most of us commute to work and I am fortunate enough to have a fairly easy one. I take three highways and a couple of community streets and bingo I am there. Most days I get to spend about an hour listening to podcast and looking out at the world around me. I know, it must get monotonous going the same way every day. Oh, on the contrary, the drive is a chance to see what the world, at least my world is doing. We are fortunate to have a large CSX transfer station so you never know when the large freight train will pause your trip. Some of them can be quite long. I am always curious what interesting or hazardous items may be in those railcars. If you want to see pastures hop a ride with me some day. This is not any big city driving. The calves have either been produced or purchased because they are all over the pastures right now. The local Camping World has just gotten some new Class A’s and some very interesting towable campers. Once I get to the county seat I am about half way there. The rest of the drive becomes a little busy, for small town people, but nevertheless still entertaining. The exercise trail is always busy with those who have a dream or time on their hands. I am still amazed at how many things people can do while driving.
As I turn at the fast food restaurant I realize the journey is almost over. Everyday there are people at the bus stop, joggers on the trail, bikers on the path, and students commuting from apartments to classrooms. The lake has its moments of tranquility and today there were pelicans going for a swim. Seeing something different on a familiar drive day after day helps break up the time that must be spent getting there. Looking for things instead of just clocking miles makes the journey enjoyable and less mundane. I could cuss catching the same lights every day or get angry because people won’t get out of the fast lane or even take solace in seeing the speeding jerk get caught at the same light as me but I don’t.
Curiosity allows me to want to see things that may not matter in my every day but when I notice them they spark the internal question center. Why was there a turkey in my yard? How much does he smoke? How in the hell does she do that while driving? Is that a cow calf ranch or a herd replacement facility? How much is that RV? I wonder why they are in such a hurry? I wonder if the squirrel makes it if he gets in the club? Just another day on the way to work.
Most of us commute to work and I am fortunate enough to have a fairly easy one. I take three highways and a couple of community streets and bingo I am there. Most days I get to spend about an hour listening to podcast and looking out at the world around me. I know, it must get monotonous going the same way every day. Oh, on the contrary, the drive is a chance to see what the world, at least my world is doing. We are fortunate to have a large CSX transfer station so you never know when the large freight train will pause your trip. Some of them can be quite long. I am always curious what interesting or hazardous items may be in those railcars. If you want to see pastures hop a ride with me some day. This is not any big city driving. The calves have either been produced or purchased because they are all over the pastures right now. The local Camping World has just gotten some new Class A’s and some very interesting towable campers. Once I get to the county seat I am about half way there. The rest of the drive becomes a little busy, for small town people, but nevertheless still entertaining. The exercise trail is always busy with those who have a dream or time on their hands. I am still amazed at how many things people can do while driving.
As I turn at the fast food restaurant I realize the journey is almost over. Everyday there are people at the bus stop, joggers on the trail, bikers on the path, and students commuting from apartments to classrooms. The lake has its moments of tranquility and today there were pelicans going for a swim. Seeing something different on a familiar drive day after day helps break up the time that must be spent getting there. Looking for things instead of just clocking miles makes the journey enjoyable and less mundane. I could cuss catching the same lights every day or get angry because people won’t get out of the fast lane or even take solace in seeing the speeding jerk get caught at the same light as me but I don’t.
Curiosity allows me to want to see things that may not matter in my every day but when I notice them they spark the internal question center. Why was there a turkey in my yard? How much does he smoke? How in the hell does she do that while driving? Is that a cow calf ranch or a herd replacement facility? How much is that RV? I wonder why they are in such a hurry? I wonder if the squirrel makes it if he gets in the club? Just another day on the way to work.
Sunday, February 19, 2017
A1
When you are “A number 1” you are deemed to be, per definition, very good or excellent. Looking further at A and 1 by themselves we realize that A is used to introduce someone for the first time or to introduce a class of person. An example would be he is a doctor. 1 then represents unity and a single entity. These definitions only somewhat define what this letter and number mean to us in our daily lives.
When we are students we strive to make our parents proud by getting A’s. At some point those A’s become important to the student themselves as they have a role in where we will go to school and what we will study. That one little letter early in the alphabet plays an important part in where we think we need to go. Along with that letter comes a ranking. If we make enough A’s we can move higher up the rank and aim to be number 1 in our class. Not only does being number one open doors it means you are the best of that particular place. The stress we felt to get to that peak will then only be amplified once we start the next endeavor where we are then placed with others who were also number ones. “Making A’s” gives us opportunities that B’s and C’s may not. It’s funny how two letters so close to A separate us by far more than there spacing in the alphabet. We might as well call them U’s or W’s.
Now to being number 1. It is really simple: To the victor go the spoils. When you are number 1 you are again the best in your arena. Whether it is academic or athletic being number 1 gets you noticed. The funny thing about being the best is that it can be fleeting. Yes, there are those that can hang on to the spot for a good period of time but many times success leads to complacency. Continuing to be successful takes more work than the first time and if it doesn’t work and we fail we question why we tried so hard to repeat. Being the best also has limitations. Being the best in your county is amazing but there can only be one who is number 1 in the state. This is also the same for your region, the country and the world. Being the best is just that. What are the aspirations after you have succeeded? Is there a satisfaction with being the best at your school? Is there talent and desire to be number 1 higher up the chain? These are questions that must be pondered deeply by those involved. We, as a society, can surmise that it should be a forgone conclusion that “the one” would want to strive for more. While our thoughts are often entertained, and create amazing chatter we have no idea what it took just to get to this level. There may be nothing left for the individual to accomplish in their own mind. One 1 may be enough. Satisfaction is a great feeling and at times the end. The internal push to be the best hurls people to take risks that they would not normally attempt and to possibly lose everything they thought they loved.
Whether it is an A or a 1 the stress can be overwhelming. Now combine the two and become A number 1 and the supreme are made. We think of these people so highly but do we really know what drives them or what they feel inside. If we did there would be more of them.
When we are students we strive to make our parents proud by getting A’s. At some point those A’s become important to the student themselves as they have a role in where we will go to school and what we will study. That one little letter early in the alphabet plays an important part in where we think we need to go. Along with that letter comes a ranking. If we make enough A’s we can move higher up the rank and aim to be number 1 in our class. Not only does being number one open doors it means you are the best of that particular place. The stress we felt to get to that peak will then only be amplified once we start the next endeavor where we are then placed with others who were also number ones. “Making A’s” gives us opportunities that B’s and C’s may not. It’s funny how two letters so close to A separate us by far more than there spacing in the alphabet. We might as well call them U’s or W’s.
Now to being number 1. It is really simple: To the victor go the spoils. When you are number 1 you are again the best in your arena. Whether it is academic or athletic being number 1 gets you noticed. The funny thing about being the best is that it can be fleeting. Yes, there are those that can hang on to the spot for a good period of time but many times success leads to complacency. Continuing to be successful takes more work than the first time and if it doesn’t work and we fail we question why we tried so hard to repeat. Being the best also has limitations. Being the best in your county is amazing but there can only be one who is number 1 in the state. This is also the same for your region, the country and the world. Being the best is just that. What are the aspirations after you have succeeded? Is there a satisfaction with being the best at your school? Is there talent and desire to be number 1 higher up the chain? These are questions that must be pondered deeply by those involved. We, as a society, can surmise that it should be a forgone conclusion that “the one” would want to strive for more. While our thoughts are often entertained, and create amazing chatter we have no idea what it took just to get to this level. There may be nothing left for the individual to accomplish in their own mind. One 1 may be enough. Satisfaction is a great feeling and at times the end. The internal push to be the best hurls people to take risks that they would not normally attempt and to possibly lose everything they thought they loved.
Whether it is an A or a 1 the stress can be overwhelming. Now combine the two and become A number 1 and the supreme are made. We think of these people so highly but do we really know what drives them or what they feel inside. If we did there would be more of them.
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Sometimes there is just nothing to say
It rained.
We didn't play.
We drove straight home and I get to spend the night with my family.
Enjoy your night as well.
We didn't play.
We drove straight home and I get to spend the night with my family.
Enjoy your night as well.
Friday, February 17, 2017
Winning: It Is Everything?
It is very simple; you win or you lose.
That is such a straightforward statement. We all like the winner but hate the loser. It really is so uncomplicated. Either you succeed or fail. Why do we make it so intricate?
that was all it would be easier to understand the further complexity of winning and losing. There is this thing called talent, effort, will, and desire. The funny thing is these still don’t mean you will win. We forget that we cannot determine if we can win. We can determine if we lose by not trying as hard as we can, tanking because it is a difficult task, and not preparing the best we can. We can, in turn, do these things the best we can and that doesn’t mean we will win. We may still get beat.
Getting beat versus losing. As much as they are the same they are very different. There is still and “L” in the W/L column but there is more behind it. We are judged on those W’s and L’s but internally there is much more to it.
My job success is predicated on getting more W’s than L’s. The only way I can get that is if those that I work with believe the work they are doing will give them the best opportunity to succeed. Winning becomes easier, that is such a loaded statement because winning is never easy, when you make the work harder in preparation for the contest.
I hate losing and getting beat but at least if you get beat you know you were just bested by someone that is either more talented, maybe on that day or every day, or maybe you just didn’t have your best stuff. Either way, you can live with yourself if you know you exhausted every opportunity to win.
Put in the work to win because if you allow yourself to give up once it may become a pattern that will haunt you through your life endeavors.
Work hard and earn your keep.
That is such a straightforward statement. We all like the winner but hate the loser. It really is so uncomplicated. Either you succeed or fail. Why do we make it so intricate?
that was all it would be easier to understand the further complexity of winning and losing. There is this thing called talent, effort, will, and desire. The funny thing is these still don’t mean you will win. We forget that we cannot determine if we can win. We can determine if we lose by not trying as hard as we can, tanking because it is a difficult task, and not preparing the best we can. We can, in turn, do these things the best we can and that doesn’t mean we will win. We may still get beat.
Getting beat versus losing. As much as they are the same they are very different. There is still and “L” in the W/L column but there is more behind it. We are judged on those W’s and L’s but internally there is much more to it.
My job success is predicated on getting more W’s than L’s. The only way I can get that is if those that I work with believe the work they are doing will give them the best opportunity to succeed. Winning becomes easier, that is such a loaded statement because winning is never easy, when you make the work harder in preparation for the contest.
I hate losing and getting beat but at least if you get beat you know you were just bested by someone that is either more talented, maybe on that day or every day, or maybe you just didn’t have your best stuff. Either way, you can live with yourself if you know you exhausted every opportunity to win.
Put in the work to win because if you allow yourself to give up once it may become a pattern that will haunt you through your life endeavors.
Work hard and earn your keep.
Thursday, February 16, 2017
What Do You See?
So begins another night in a hotel in a town that many travel through. It seems like such a negative statement but is something I very much love. With twelve years in coaching, a few years racing dirt bikes, many years competing in tennis and as a youth racing BMX around the country it is a life that is normal for me. It is funny how a hotel room feels comfortable. I have spoken to so many people that hate hotels because they cannot sleep or many other reasons. I find it relaxing. I truly enjoy traveling with my family but even when they cannot be with me I still love curling up in the hotel bed, turning the a/c down, hitting the television button, and falling off into dream land. Okay, so hotel breakfast isn’t the best but it gets you going and on your way to your next adventure.
I guess the best part of traveling to me is just seeing what is out there. Whether it is a big rig, I love semi’s, hauling a load cross country or a motorhome pounding out miles down the road I find myself wondering where they are going or what they are hauling. It may sound crazy but I really enjoy the process of traveling. I like truck stops, seeing race haulers of all kinds, horse trailers moving north and south, or dirt bikes in the back of a pick-up truck. I don’t get the opportunity to travel the backroads as much as I would like but I still find amazement in the interstates. There is so much out there to see. You just must look. I find beauty in a freshly tilled field or a set of rolling hills. How can you not be amazed by some of the mountain views that our country provides? Whether it is a farm of windmills or a pasture of cattle it is America the Beautiful.
Having had the opportunity to travel by vehicle all over the country I have seen a lot of what is out there. I guess I should be bored with it but it is ever changing. There is a recent Jason Aldean song titled Fly Over States that references the farmlands in the Midwest. They do look different from the sky and for someone who doesn’t like to sit in a car can be quite boring from the ground. For those that fly over them you are missing the wildlife in the dirt mounds on the edge of the highway or the beautiful flowers that pop up randomly. You are missing the incredible interaction of small town people who know you aren’t from around here. You miss the opportunity to eat at the local diner. You know it is good because the parking lot is packed. There is so much to see. I feel sad when people say they just don’t like driving or when you pass by a vehicle and everybody, even the driver is buried in their phone. Look up, look out, there is so much to see. Allow yourself to be amazed by these 48 contiguous states. They all offer something.
As you can tell I love being on the road. I joke all the time that if it was a different life I would be an over the road truck driver. Oh, the places you can go. I have changed that to oh the places I have been and the places I will be going. Enjoy the drive and get out and see something.
I guess the best part of traveling to me is just seeing what is out there. Whether it is a big rig, I love semi’s, hauling a load cross country or a motorhome pounding out miles down the road I find myself wondering where they are going or what they are hauling. It may sound crazy but I really enjoy the process of traveling. I like truck stops, seeing race haulers of all kinds, horse trailers moving north and south, or dirt bikes in the back of a pick-up truck. I don’t get the opportunity to travel the backroads as much as I would like but I still find amazement in the interstates. There is so much out there to see. You just must look. I find beauty in a freshly tilled field or a set of rolling hills. How can you not be amazed by some of the mountain views that our country provides? Whether it is a farm of windmills or a pasture of cattle it is America the Beautiful.
Having had the opportunity to travel by vehicle all over the country I have seen a lot of what is out there. I guess I should be bored with it but it is ever changing. There is a recent Jason Aldean song titled Fly Over States that references the farmlands in the Midwest. They do look different from the sky and for someone who doesn’t like to sit in a car can be quite boring from the ground. For those that fly over them you are missing the wildlife in the dirt mounds on the edge of the highway or the beautiful flowers that pop up randomly. You are missing the incredible interaction of small town people who know you aren’t from around here. You miss the opportunity to eat at the local diner. You know it is good because the parking lot is packed. There is so much to see. I feel sad when people say they just don’t like driving or when you pass by a vehicle and everybody, even the driver is buried in their phone. Look up, look out, there is so much to see. Allow yourself to be amazed by these 48 contiguous states. They all offer something.
As you can tell I love being on the road. I joke all the time that if it was a different life I would be an over the road truck driver. Oh, the places you can go. I have changed that to oh the places I have been and the places I will be going. Enjoy the drive and get out and see something.
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
When It Rains Look For the Rainbow
What’s important to you daily? If it doesn’t happen does it ruin your day? Why? Is it not possible just to do it later?
Sometimes things just don’t go as planned. We have our day strategically laid out with our goals in front of us. We plow through the day aiming to accomplish the things we deem most important and then…. the distraction. How we handle this distraction determines if we succeed or get stuck in the distraction. Don’t get hung up on what the distraction is just think about the things that take you away from what you want to be getting done. They are different for each of us. Some are made by people, some by gadgets, and others by nature herself. Is your day shot or does this give you a chance to do something else? A forced break that changes your perspective.
The example that comes to mind is a rainy day that affects your outdoor plans. You’ve been working on goals and things are rosy and then mother nature rains on your parade. Pun intended! It is true that you could gripe, cuss the circumstances, and maybe even be a little frustrated that you are missing one of few days available to work on a much-needed task.
This is where the beauty occurs. Instead of worrying about what you cannot change embrace the opportunity to do what you may not normally get to do. Go home before dark. Have dinner with your family. Enjoy some nice conversation with your daughter and wife. Do something that you always complain you don’t get to do when you are doing your normal. “Things don’t happen to you, they happen for you.” No doubt you’ve heard that quote before. As a society, we say we want change but when it actually occurs we complain because now there is an uncomfortableness that we don’t like. The next time your day gets thrown a kilter, smile and think of something you can do that normally never happens.
Sometimes things just don’t go as planned. We have our day strategically laid out with our goals in front of us. We plow through the day aiming to accomplish the things we deem most important and then…. the distraction. How we handle this distraction determines if we succeed or get stuck in the distraction. Don’t get hung up on what the distraction is just think about the things that take you away from what you want to be getting done. They are different for each of us. Some are made by people, some by gadgets, and others by nature herself. Is your day shot or does this give you a chance to do something else? A forced break that changes your perspective.
The example that comes to mind is a rainy day that affects your outdoor plans. You’ve been working on goals and things are rosy and then mother nature rains on your parade. Pun intended! It is true that you could gripe, cuss the circumstances, and maybe even be a little frustrated that you are missing one of few days available to work on a much-needed task.
This is where the beauty occurs. Instead of worrying about what you cannot change embrace the opportunity to do what you may not normally get to do. Go home before dark. Have dinner with your family. Enjoy some nice conversation with your daughter and wife. Do something that you always complain you don’t get to do when you are doing your normal. “Things don’t happen to you, they happen for you.” No doubt you’ve heard that quote before. As a society, we say we want change but when it actually occurs we complain because now there is an uncomfortableness that we don’t like. The next time your day gets thrown a kilter, smile and think of something you can do that normally never happens.
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Make Every Day Happy Heart Day
Today’s thoughts were literally just a train of thought. There has been no editing, spellcheck, or grammar check. I just had the thoughts and let it roll.
Being special is an awesome feeling and a great responsibility. Today, being a day that people share with those they love had me thinking about being special. When you are special there is an obligation to the person that feels that way towards you. Not that this is a bad thing but nonetheless there is a sense inside that you don’t want to let that person down. There are times, of course, where being special to someone may just be a weird situation that is completely one-sided but this is not one of those times.
Think of the people that you surround yourself with daily. Whether it is a coworker, a subordinate, friends, family, or that stranger you struck up a conversation with at the store you are special to a multitude of people. Let’s start with the person you wake up with every morning. This person has feelings towards you that allows them the comfort of sharing their life and dreams with you. Your children look at what you do and how you do it every day. It doesn’t matter what you do to them it only matters how you do it, the way you treat the people around you, and how you share those experiences with them. Your coworkers may come to you for friendship, advice, to kill time because you are a good ear, and may think you have skills or connections they can use. The stranger aspect is one that we never really know but when we do nice things for people we don’t know most of the time we go to a little place of nicety in their heart. Think about the person that holds the door open for you when you have bags draped in every arm. You normally don’t get angry with those people but rather we think how kind they are to recognize our current situation. This goes for us when we do those same things.
Having feelings of warmth and kindness to others is the other aspect. It is great when we are special to others but it is truly humbling when others are special to us. Having someone love you so much that they hand make your favorite dinner and create their own edible arrangement. When your child says, they will spend one day doing what you love and they have such a great time that they want to spend two days doing it instead. How do you repay those moments? When your family has your back during tough times because they believe in you. Those are moments that you hang on to and just appreciate the fact that you mean that much to others. Some of the moments that are just amazing are those when complete strangers deem you important enough to help you in a time of need. It doesn’t mean they love you or want to get to know you it just means that at that moment they felt you were special enough to warrant their time.
I guess what all this means is to make someone feel special today and every day.
Being special is an awesome feeling and a great responsibility. Today, being a day that people share with those they love had me thinking about being special. When you are special there is an obligation to the person that feels that way towards you. Not that this is a bad thing but nonetheless there is a sense inside that you don’t want to let that person down. There are times, of course, where being special to someone may just be a weird situation that is completely one-sided but this is not one of those times.
Think of the people that you surround yourself with daily. Whether it is a coworker, a subordinate, friends, family, or that stranger you struck up a conversation with at the store you are special to a multitude of people. Let’s start with the person you wake up with every morning. This person has feelings towards you that allows them the comfort of sharing their life and dreams with you. Your children look at what you do and how you do it every day. It doesn’t matter what you do to them it only matters how you do it, the way you treat the people around you, and how you share those experiences with them. Your coworkers may come to you for friendship, advice, to kill time because you are a good ear, and may think you have skills or connections they can use. The stranger aspect is one that we never really know but when we do nice things for people we don’t know most of the time we go to a little place of nicety in their heart. Think about the person that holds the door open for you when you have bags draped in every arm. You normally don’t get angry with those people but rather we think how kind they are to recognize our current situation. This goes for us when we do those same things.
Having feelings of warmth and kindness to others is the other aspect. It is great when we are special to others but it is truly humbling when others are special to us. Having someone love you so much that they hand make your favorite dinner and create their own edible arrangement. When your child says, they will spend one day doing what you love and they have such a great time that they want to spend two days doing it instead. How do you repay those moments? When your family has your back during tough times because they believe in you. Those are moments that you hang on to and just appreciate the fact that you mean that much to others. Some of the moments that are just amazing are those when complete strangers deem you important enough to help you in a time of need. It doesn’t mean they love you or want to get to know you it just means that at that moment they felt you were special enough to warrant their time.
I guess what all this means is to make someone feel special today and every day.
Monday, February 13, 2017
Competition Happens
You win or you lose or some would say you win or you learn. These outcomes occur when we compete. Competition is in everything we do and it isn’t always sports related. To compete; as defined by Oxford Dictionaries is to “strive to gain or win something by defeating or establishing superiority over others who are trying to do the same.” Ever since we were little we compete. Whether it was to see who was the best at hide-n-seek, who could hold their breath the longest, or who would dominate the backyard game of football we have tried to be the best. Not necessarily the best in the world but the best in our own little world. Being competitive was fun, especially if you were the victor. If you lost you just sulked, made up some lame reason and then moved on to the next game. Sometimes we even changed the rules to help us compete better. Adaptation during competition is the reason some end up winning when they are behind. When we succeeded, the feeling was euphoric. For the moment, we were number one. We wanted more of that feeling. Even if we didn’t like direct competition there was still a feeling of accomplishment when we succeeded in being the highest grade in class, getting the solo for the choir, or for having the best of something that others wanted.
Fast forward a few years and the competition gets more intense in our minds. Those events seem to mean more and appear to have greater consequences. If we fail we might not make the team, win the tournament, get in the right school, or get the job we think we deserve. We are still competing but for most it is without joy. Competing is a challenge. It is supposed to be. When we are competing, we are aiming to show that the work we have done is at a high enough level to achieve the desired goal we want. The problem we have is that we cannot always control if we win or lose. We can only control the effort and work that we do to try and achieve the goal. If we have an opponent, we cannot control the work they have done. If it is for a job we don’t have control of what school, internships, or experience the other applicants may have. We forget that competition has two outcomes just like it did when we were younger. When we lost as a youth we just dusted ourselves off and tried again. When we lose as adults we feel that we have failed and that we will never have another opportunity to achieve the desired goal. After a few losses, we pull away from competition and say that we just aren’t interested in striving for what we really want. Why can’t we just reestablish the goal, change our plan, and go for it again? A true competitor who loves competition will look forward to competing as soon as they can.
Unless you just disassociate with society you will be competing for most everything. Just look at your day and see how many times you are trying to get ahead. Some of you are saying, “I never do that.” Answer this question: Have you in the past week tried to beat a yellow light, refused to let a car in, hoped you were in the shortest line at the drive-thru, or cheered for a certain outcome? You have competed. Stop fighting it and remember how much fun you had. Embrace competition and use it as fuel not as an anchor.
Fast forward a few years and the competition gets more intense in our minds. Those events seem to mean more and appear to have greater consequences. If we fail we might not make the team, win the tournament, get in the right school, or get the job we think we deserve. We are still competing but for most it is without joy. Competing is a challenge. It is supposed to be. When we are competing, we are aiming to show that the work we have done is at a high enough level to achieve the desired goal we want. The problem we have is that we cannot always control if we win or lose. We can only control the effort and work that we do to try and achieve the goal. If we have an opponent, we cannot control the work they have done. If it is for a job we don’t have control of what school, internships, or experience the other applicants may have. We forget that competition has two outcomes just like it did when we were younger. When we lost as a youth we just dusted ourselves off and tried again. When we lose as adults we feel that we have failed and that we will never have another opportunity to achieve the desired goal. After a few losses, we pull away from competition and say that we just aren’t interested in striving for what we really want. Why can’t we just reestablish the goal, change our plan, and go for it again? A true competitor who loves competition will look forward to competing as soon as they can.
Unless you just disassociate with society you will be competing for most everything. Just look at your day and see how many times you are trying to get ahead. Some of you are saying, “I never do that.” Answer this question: Have you in the past week tried to beat a yellow light, refused to let a car in, hoped you were in the shortest line at the drive-thru, or cheered for a certain outcome? You have competed. Stop fighting it and remember how much fun you had. Embrace competition and use it as fuel not as an anchor.
Sunday, February 12, 2017
And So It Begins
It is time to dust off the keyboard and get back to putting my thoughts out. I think it is more for my clarity than for anything else. So many times, I have thoughts, observations, and ideas that I just keep pinned up in my tiny little brain. That is painful, and why not just get them out. If you enjoy them that is great. Maybe we can do cool stuff and make it big with one of the audacious thoughts or ideas that gets put down. Maybe you will laugh at the stupidity of what comes out or maybe you will get pissed that I think that way about something you hold dear. Whatever, it will be out there. Tonight, is just the start. We will see where it goes. The brain just rarely shuts down. Enjoy, ignore, or engage but most importantly just think. From what I see these days we are all passionate about things but we rarely take the time to ask why others feel differently. Those differences are what makes us all so cool. Learning to understand, appreciate, and have an educated discussion allows ideas to flourish rather than just bashing an opposing opinion. Take time to listen. There is always a reason people feel the way they do and it might be worth your while to find out why.
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