Competition Happens

You win or you lose or some would say you win or you learn. These outcomes occur when we compete. Competition is in everything we do and it isn’t always sports related. To compete; as defined by Oxford Dictionaries is to “strive to gain or win something by defeating or establishing superiority over others who are trying to do the same.” Ever since we were little we compete. Whether it was to see who was the best at hide-n-seek, who could hold their breath the longest, or who would dominate the backyard game of football we have tried to be the best. Not necessarily the best in the world but the best in our own little world. Being competitive was fun, especially if you were the victor. If you lost you just sulked, made up some lame reason and then moved on to the next game. Sometimes we even changed the rules to help us compete better. Adaptation during competition is the reason some end up winning when they are behind. When we succeeded, the feeling was euphoric. For the moment, we were number one. We wanted more of that feeling. Even if we didn’t like direct competition there was still a feeling of accomplishment when we succeeded in being the highest grade in class, getting the solo for the choir, or for having the best of something that others wanted.

Fast forward a few years and the competition gets more intense in our minds. Those events seem to mean more and appear to have greater consequences. If we fail we might not make the team, win the tournament, get in the right school, or get the job we think we deserve. We are still competing but for most it is without joy. Competing is a challenge. It is supposed to be. When we are competing, we are aiming to show that the work we have done is at a high enough level to achieve the desired goal we want. The problem we have is that we cannot always control if we win or lose. We can only control the effort and work that we do to try and achieve the goal. If we have an opponent, we cannot control the work they have done. If it is for a job we don’t have control of what school, internships, or experience the other applicants may have. We forget that competition has two outcomes just like it did when we were younger. When we lost as a youth we just dusted ourselves off and tried again. When we lose as adults we feel that we have failed and that we will never have another opportunity to achieve the desired goal. After a few losses, we pull away from competition and say that we just aren’t interested in striving for what we really want. Why can’t we just reestablish the goal, change our plan, and go for it again? A true competitor who loves competition will look forward to competing as soon as they can.

Unless you just disassociate with society you will be competing for most everything. Just look at your day and see how many times you are trying to get ahead. Some of you are saying, “I never do that.” Answer this question: Have you in the past week tried to beat a yellow light, refused to let a car in, hoped you were in the shortest line at the drive-thru, or cheered for a certain outcome? You have competed. Stop fighting it and remember how much fun you had. Embrace competition and use it as fuel not as an anchor.