It Is What It Is! Ha Ha!

“The days are long, and the years are short,” I don’t know who to attribute it to and it really isn’t important for this. Some people will say they had an incredible year and, yet a larger group will state that they cannot wait for the new year because it must be better than what they were presented with this year. Maybe they just needed longer days and a bit longer year. I jest, but really, is a calendar date going to magically create a clean slate and a perfect potion for your new year? Poof, it is day one so all that bad shit you did, happened to you, was caused by you is released and you can be perfect now. How incredibly naïve a thought process this is. The funny thing is millions will feel that way Monday morning, maybe Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning, and at the first sign on their yearly normal they will denounce that this is exactly like the last year. No kidding, all that grandiose joy and betterment doesn’t happen because the hour of programming is over, you actually have to work for it.

Some of us want more money, less weight, better relationships, increased productivity, better health, etc., etc., and on and on. I love all that stuff. I spent twelve years watching athletes say they wanted something more than they had and I watched the select few go do the work to make it happen. There was nothing wrong with the guys that didn’t do the work. They were awesome guys who I loved like my own kid. They stated something that they truly didn’t believe, something they thought I or others wanted to hear, or a dream that truly didn’t have a plan. Hard work is hard and most of us feel we work hard most of the time. Why in the world would we want to work harder to try something and still have the possibility that it won’t work? That is the rub. Why attempt to better an aspect of our lives, go through the necessary changes, the pain, the ridicule, and fail? I cannot answer that question. I have been on both sides. I have attempted something large, put in significant effort and failed and I have also been content fibbing to myself about what I want and putting no effort in at all.

As the words land on this page I find myself becoming more pissed with every keystroke. I used to sit in my office at Florida Southern and grill my guys on their future. We delved deep. What did they want from tennis, classes, education, career, and beyond. I prodded, poked, and at times almost harassed them to want more. I sat there and demanded excellence and then stayed mediocre in my own existence. They are all doing great. I begged them to chase their dreams and not worry if they changed mid-course. Many have done just that. Finally, I took my own advice and jumped from the comfortable perch. Crash! Like the bird that left the nest too soon I find myself flailing around. Occasionally I get a little air, but it hurts to crash so frequently. There is pain either way. Through progress there is pain and through staying put there is pain. If the bird doesn’t eventually fight through the pain of bouncing off the ground, he becomes a meal. The same fate falls to us if we let it. We bounce off the concrete of our troubles, our laziness, our ineptness, and we believe it is our fate. We become tired and flap violently but never move. If we give in, we can survive for a bit by just walking around. Eventually, the world swallows us up and we go back to what we know. Bitterness, disbelief that anything can change, and the best phrase: “that’s just how it is.”

Fight, dammit, fight. It is hard. It isn’t always fun. Your “friends” will cheer you to a point but really don’t want you to get better because you will exit the nest if you succeed. All this is true, but if your goal is truly something you want, your why is unwavering, and you know that you will be better for it once you have reached it; you must fight for it. Through the struggles, the missed moments (yes, you will miss moments), the naysayers, and whatever else is thrown your way if your why can sustain you there will be a chance you succeed. What, there is only a chance? Yep, and that is why most of us don’t try. Why would I put myself out there if I don’t know 100% that it will work? The best answer I ever came up with when discussing this with the players was this: You will be better than you were, and you can always regroup, re-strategize, and reestablish your goal with a different plan. It kind of sucks but that is the best. Was it Yoda who said, “Do or don’t do there is no try.”? That is so true, because we are going to succeed or fail. Oh shoot, I said that word, fail. Get over it. Fail, fail, fail, and keep failing. All that means is that you are doing. You cannot fail if you don’t do. You also cannot succeed.

If you are happy with it all keep plugging away. If there is an aspect that you want to change, do it. Heck, don’t wait until the champagne, hangover, hog jowls, black-eyed peas, and collard greens. Do it now. Impossible right! I guess that depends on your why. Have a great 2018 and go out and fail. You’ll be better than you were and that will be awesome to see on social media for the rest of us.

Photo by Uroš Jovičić on Unsplash
Photo by a-shuhani on Unsplash
Photo by Chris Hayashi on Unsplash