Seasons

We appear to be having a bit of a real Florida winter for a bit. There usually are a couple days in a row of chilly weather but then it is abruptly back into the 70’s and life in Florida is back to normal. This time, winter has decided to stick around for a whole week. People are miserable, water is freezing in places that it normally doesn’t, and for God sakes there was even snow in northern Florida. Seasons are something we skip most of the time in our sunshine state and as warm weather lovers we are excited about the seasonal skip. Why? We love seasons. The new season of our favorite show, the football season, racing season, school, and on and on. Seasons are important. They give us something to look forward to each year.

Tonight, is the start of the supercross season. The opener occurs in Anaheim and is a who’s who of stars and includes the world’s best riders. It is also the Roar before the 24 in Daytona. That means that the 24 Hours of Daytona is right around the corner and the IMSA racing series is just about to get under way. Golf starts their new season in the fall, but the true new season kicks off with the tournament of champions in Hawaii. Football is in the playoffs and there is one more game in the college season. Seasons give us hope. All the people involved are full of hope. They all think they are the best and have a great shot of winning. The work has been done, the prep completed, and the talking is over. Everyone thought they had a shot but now we find out who the real deal is.

For twelve years of my life I lived by seasons. As a tennis coach we had our fall season and our spring season. Fall was a chance for the players to work on aspects of their game, play tournaments for themselves, and to prove the work they did in the off season was for real. The spring season was the one that paid the bills. We started with pre-season training in January and the first match began in February. From there it was non-stop until the end of April or the middle of May. That depended on how strong the season went.

Seasons are important for athletes, businesses, and us during our normal life. Athletes use periodization to reach the peak performance at the right time. They have pre-season, in-season, post-season, and even a rest season. Businesses go through the same process. They have marketing, sales, follow up, and then the analysis of the process. Farmers go through it with each planting. We have our seasons. Each of us has our own goals, dreams, and then we make our plans to get to the end of the goal. Once it is achieved or failure occurs we adjust and prepare to tackle it again or adjust our plan to a different goal. A season can last years, months, or even just a few weeks.

This is the first year in a long time that I get to determine my seasons. I don’t have to worry about the weather, the condition of the athletes, or the level of the competition we would be playing against. It is a change that I have embraced but will definitely miss. These days my seasons look a little different but in the end, I still want to win.

Next week the weather here in Florida moderates and our winter season takes a break. I hope you enjoy your seasons and embrace the importance of each of them on your journey. The funny thing is, seasons come and then they go. You have the opportunity to make it better the next time or accept what the seasons give you. Good luck during your season and make the best of each moment.

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Just Reading and Listening

Today is January 2nd. For many, it is the second day of life changing goals and for many more, it is the second day of all the fluff they have told themselves. This isn’t about that. We make our own paths and really, none of us should judge the decisions, or lack thereof. This is the second day of 365 that create the calendar year but if you really want to change there is not a need to be boxed in by twelve sheets of paper.

Day one, you decide to make the change. That sounds great. I had the opportunity to listen to a podcast the other day which puts the word decide in a completely new light. Here is the riddle: If five frogs are sitting on a lily pad and one decides to jump off how many frogs are left sitting on the lily pad? The answer appears so simple because when we think about deciding we think that means we are doing it. The actual answer is five. You see, deciding to do something and doing it are two different things. If you decide to lose weight, it means that you have had a thought, discussion, contemplation, and a mental desire to make that happen. The actual work and start of the process begins the first day you alter your eating habits.

Another thing I just finished was the book The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. It started a little slow but that only built the story. The main premise of the book is that it takes time for changes to be seen, whether they are good or bad changes. That is why it is so hard to make changes for the positive throughout our lives. We don’t see the change for a long time, so we must decide whether we keep going or just quit. There is an adage that states, “A person is not a static being. We are either getting better or worse every day.” The Slight Edge says that the small positive decisions we make everyday compound upon one another to make the change permanent or create a better situation for us. The same thing happens if we make small bad decisions each day. There is a part in the book that says something to the effect that having the fast food burger won’t kill you today. At least not today, but later.

We do all we can to control the environment we place ourselves in daily. The job we choose to have, yes, you do choose your job, the friends we keep, the places we go, and on and on. Can we cuss our circumstances? Of course, we can. Does it help? Sometimes it makes us feel better only to soothe our pained heart. According to the book, by making a small choice differently each day, over a period of time, we can better our lives. Like the frogs, we cannot just decide to do something we have to do it. There are times circumstances throw us a curve ball. There may be a flight delay due to an equipment change, maybe the line at Subway was longer than you wanted, or maybe it is colder than you like. All of these things pass. How you handle them decides your day and whether your slight edge curve goes up or down.

Be wise, breathe, and let your decisions compound in a positive fashion each time.

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It Is What It Is! Ha Ha!

“The days are long, and the years are short,” I don’t know who to attribute it to and it really isn’t important for this. Some people will say they had an incredible year and, yet a larger group will state that they cannot wait for the new year because it must be better than what they were presented with this year. Maybe they just needed longer days and a bit longer year. I jest, but really, is a calendar date going to magically create a clean slate and a perfect potion for your new year? Poof, it is day one so all that bad shit you did, happened to you, was caused by you is released and you can be perfect now. How incredibly naïve a thought process this is. The funny thing is millions will feel that way Monday morning, maybe Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning, and at the first sign on their yearly normal they will denounce that this is exactly like the last year. No kidding, all that grandiose joy and betterment doesn’t happen because the hour of programming is over, you actually have to work for it.

Some of us want more money, less weight, better relationships, increased productivity, better health, etc., etc., and on and on. I love all that stuff. I spent twelve years watching athletes say they wanted something more than they had and I watched the select few go do the work to make it happen. There was nothing wrong with the guys that didn’t do the work. They were awesome guys who I loved like my own kid. They stated something that they truly didn’t believe, something they thought I or others wanted to hear, or a dream that truly didn’t have a plan. Hard work is hard and most of us feel we work hard most of the time. Why in the world would we want to work harder to try something and still have the possibility that it won’t work? That is the rub. Why attempt to better an aspect of our lives, go through the necessary changes, the pain, the ridicule, and fail? I cannot answer that question. I have been on both sides. I have attempted something large, put in significant effort and failed and I have also been content fibbing to myself about what I want and putting no effort in at all.

As the words land on this page I find myself becoming more pissed with every keystroke. I used to sit in my office at Florida Southern and grill my guys on their future. We delved deep. What did they want from tennis, classes, education, career, and beyond. I prodded, poked, and at times almost harassed them to want more. I sat there and demanded excellence and then stayed mediocre in my own existence. They are all doing great. I begged them to chase their dreams and not worry if they changed mid-course. Many have done just that. Finally, I took my own advice and jumped from the comfortable perch. Crash! Like the bird that left the nest too soon I find myself flailing around. Occasionally I get a little air, but it hurts to crash so frequently. There is pain either way. Through progress there is pain and through staying put there is pain. If the bird doesn’t eventually fight through the pain of bouncing off the ground, he becomes a meal. The same fate falls to us if we let it. We bounce off the concrete of our troubles, our laziness, our ineptness, and we believe it is our fate. We become tired and flap violently but never move. If we give in, we can survive for a bit by just walking around. Eventually, the world swallows us up and we go back to what we know. Bitterness, disbelief that anything can change, and the best phrase: “that’s just how it is.”

Fight, dammit, fight. It is hard. It isn’t always fun. Your “friends” will cheer you to a point but really don’t want you to get better because you will exit the nest if you succeed. All this is true, but if your goal is truly something you want, your why is unwavering, and you know that you will be better for it once you have reached it; you must fight for it. Through the struggles, the missed moments (yes, you will miss moments), the naysayers, and whatever else is thrown your way if your why can sustain you there will be a chance you succeed. What, there is only a chance? Yep, and that is why most of us don’t try. Why would I put myself out there if I don’t know 100% that it will work? The best answer I ever came up with when discussing this with the players was this: You will be better than you were, and you can always regroup, re-strategize, and reestablish your goal with a different plan. It kind of sucks but that is the best. Was it Yoda who said, “Do or don’t do there is no try.”? That is so true, because we are going to succeed or fail. Oh shoot, I said that word, fail. Get over it. Fail, fail, fail, and keep failing. All that means is that you are doing. You cannot fail if you don’t do. You also cannot succeed.

If you are happy with it all keep plugging away. If there is an aspect that you want to change, do it. Heck, don’t wait until the champagne, hangover, hog jowls, black-eyed peas, and collard greens. Do it now. Impossible right! I guess that depends on your why. Have a great 2018 and go out and fail. You’ll be better than you were and that will be awesome to see on social media for the rest of us.

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Home for the Holidays

Oh, the Holidays are in full swing. Meals, gifts, late nights, meals, parties, a few drinks, and family. We are fortunate to live near a majority of our family and have the opportunity to see all of them multiple times a year. Still, the holidays get us all together over a few days span to laugh, eat, play, and even disagree about things. We have old, middle-aged, teens, and young’uns. Like a lot of families, we have lost a few key members and there will always be a large void that cannot be replaced. However, we continue with traditions and festivities because none of them would want it any other way. Our family is awesome, diverse, strange, funny, habitual, and like your own family, the best there is.

The group that gets to see each other regularly include Michelle, Brianna, Mom, Dad, Stella, Ken, Ruthie, GGMa, Nanny, Michelle Y, Michael, Stephanie, Tim, Tyler, McKenzie, MJ, Timmy, Addison, and Donna. This group of people are my friends, mentors, drinking partners, and full on entertainment. Each of them possess skills, passion, and love that they share in varying degrees to each of the others in the group. Between two houses about four miles apart from one another, I get the chance to socialize, pontificate, and laugh with all of them. Some prepare fantastic food, others tell delightful stories, and some just straight up make me laugh. The little ones are fun to watch grow, play, and become mesmerized with the next gift or game. Heck, sometimes they become enthralled with nothing in particular and that is even more entertaining. We can be a formal bunch but not when we are all together. It’s shorts and t-shirts and you better get your athletic shoes out because the football will be flying. Each person wants to chat, even if they are staring intently on their blue screen of life.

This group that I proudly call my family consists of current teachers, former teachers, retirees, entrepreneurs, high up managers, protectors of citizens, students, widowers, athletes, has been athletes, and want to be athletes. We love, we share, we fight, but we are always family. Since we get to see each other more frequently than the average family you would think it would be boring to get together as a unit. Actually, it is far from it. Whether it is a malfunctioning television, a collision on the field of play, bad Wi-Fi, or a disagreement about how a game is played we are still family. The collision and disagreement aren’t always synonymous with the little ones. The big kids are good at this one as well. We are a tight bunch but another cool part of being in this family is that we love bringing others who don’t share our blood into the mix. They get treated just like we treat others and if you can hang, you are welcome to stay.

Christmas is an all-day affair for this group I love with every fiber of my being. We start at our house with Michelle preparing our traditional breakfast feast. We don’t start until about 8:00 now that Brianna is older. If you have little ones, hang in there, they will age out of 5:45 stocking calls. After a wonderful time opening gifts and eating we do a quick clean up and then pack it up to move the circus to my Dad and Stella’s house. This is the second half of the day. There are always brunch items to snack on and the shenanigans begin anew with the rest of the crew. We watch as the wee one’s devour their stockings and wait impatiently for the gifts to be handed out. Tyler is the lead elf and over the past couple of years, MJ has availed himself as quite the helper elf. Packages fly around the living room like an Amazon warehouse. There are timeouts called, sorry, once a coach always a coach, so that paper and gifts on the floor don’t become one. It seems like it will never end, but then, poof, and it is over. A quick trip home to alleviate the mess that has been left and it is immediately back for the remaining festivities. There are boat rides, football of varying degrees, new toys to play with, conversations to be had, some are deeper than others, and for Dad it may mean a nap or two. A second delicious meal is served, and if there is time after there might be more outside activities.

After such an exhilarating day you would think this would be a great conclusion. Oh, how wrong you would be. For years this just meant that it was time for the Nerf wars to begin. However, this year we had game night. Young, old, and in-between commenced to battling it out for some long hours. I almost forgot, the sangria was also flowing with a smoothness that made the evening even longer. At the conclusion of the battle, the victor staggered to his feet proclaiming his effort. I hate losing, but the battle was fair, incredibly fun, and just awesome to see so many of us having fun around a table with no phones to interfere. My little brother, Tyler, defeated all his older siblings, their better halves, and even two of their kids. It was time to call it a night, even though it was early into the next day. At 12:45 I put my head on my pillow, kissed my wife good night, and slept quickly thinking about how lucky I am to have the family I have.

Many times during the year I get to see them, sit and talk with them, but rarely do I get to enjoy them just as great friends. I love each of them, even when they may be hard to love. I think they probably feel the same way because I know, with my comments, that I am often hard to love. Time will pass, we will have to adjust seating again and again, but the family will continue to move forward with passion, grace, and the desire to love fully. Thank you all for your love and thank you for making every holiday we spend as a family unit one that I will always cherish. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to the crew that keeps me honest, smiling, and wanting more from life. Let’s do it again and keep chasing the dreams. Don’t let them go!

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Flashback Because of the Little g in a Circle

It is funny what can bring back memories. Today, I had one of those experiences while doing a quick pit stop in Walmart with Michelle. We were doing an emergency purchase of phone cases since our hi-tech cases have caused our phones to not work properly. We just needed to get two cheapy cases and a couple pieces of protective film and be on our way. Then it happened: the moment my cheap trip became a bit more expensive. We were scouring the racks for plastic protection for our gadgets that were pricier than my first Tag Heuer. It is funny how times have changed. Especially since the piece that took me back was before that phone was even thought about.

They say you should not look back unless it is to see how far you’ve gone. Well, today I looked back to 1989 through 1993. It wasn’t on purpose. I really was focused on the task of bubble wrapping my phone for future use. I first caught a glimpse as I shifted from the middle bins of $4.88 generic phone cases. There were glitter ones, glitter ones, a few with stripes, a few solid colors, and some more glitter ones. I do appreciate my softer side, but I will not let it out that far that I am willing to carry a glitter phone case. Maybe I will rethink that; could be quite the conversation piece when meeting a customer. Nah, we will let that go. Okay, so as I was heading to the iPhone section of Walmart I popped my head up and there it was in its large grey box. The lower-case g in the circle caught my eye. The Anthology of Garth Brooks was on sale in Walmart. Geekdom kicked in.

After the first glance, I continued on my task and thought “I don’t need this. I don’t even really listen to iTunes much anymore.” I finally found my cheap ass case. A flat black, safe for 3-foot falls, and that was about it. Michelle was a little more diligent in her search, so I was drifting off and started thinking about all the songs that I haven’t heard in a long time. Easing back over to the end cap I found myself staring at the box. Oops, I made the fatal error and picked it up. I turned it over and started reading what was available. Five CD’s, a large hard backed book that chronicles his rise from 1985-1995 and all that music. I put it back down and wandered over to the center rack just to make sure I had chosen the best option. After a few minutes, Michelle glided by because she just couldn’t find a case that fit her immediate needs and had gotten frustrated and pulled up Amazon to see if there was anything she could get in pronto. As she sauntered over to the center rack I eased back to that damned end cap.

Yes, I picked it up again, spun it around, looked at the contents, and…...put it in the basket. I was going to reacquaint myself with the music of Garth Brooks. I had every CD before, even burned them onto my iTunes, but somewhere along the line they disappeared. The CD’s are gone as well. Michelle and I spoke about the music as we were finishing our search for these damned elusive, cheap cases and finally finished up that process. As I strolled towards the checkout I thought about my next few hours jamming to Garth while driving around delivering goodies for Christmas to our tenants. After a smooth, I know, a rare treat, checkout we headed to the truck to begin the reminiscing process. Open the package, slide the book out from the protector, and the phone rang. Business had stopped the going back process.

We pushed forward on deliveries and talked about things that needed to get done today, tomorrow, and this weekend. The moment had passed, just like all those years so long ago, and we were very much in the present. Really, I just liked his music. I cannot remember any important things that happened that would make me want to never forget his music. It was just good. It had some great messages, good instruments, and when there were still videos I loved watching them. There wasn’t a great love, accomplishment, or other life changing event. Just good music to me.

The flashback finally did happen around 5:15 this evening. Once we left the office we slid the first CD in the player, yes, our truck still has a CD player, and let it rip. I started singing from the first song and Michelle just stared. I looked in amazement that she didn’t know this song. She kindly reminded me that she was nine when this came out and not only did that make me realize how old this music was it also reminded me how cool my wife is that she took a chance on her old man boyfriend. During the first year I was in my senior year of high school. That sounds terrible if you say it slow but when you look forward, as we all should, it isn’t so bad. If Tomorrow Never Comes came on and she new that one. Sang every word right along with me. After some quick work at the barn we finished the first year with the classic, The Dance. Not only did Michelle sing that one but Brianna joined us as well.

We should continually move forward as we move towards our goals. We get new houses, cars, friends, dreams, and even tastes. The one thing I have a challenging time completely moving forward with is my music. The other day I was listening to a song that is almost 50 years old and it still sounds good today. Music played such a big part in so many of our lives that it is almost impossible to stay in the present with that one. Keep moving forward but let your music move you that way.

Oh yeah, if and when The Anthology Part II comes out I will head back into the belly of the beast, Walmart, and purchase it as well.

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Good or Bad -- Interesting and Amazing

Where do we go from here? That question gets asked in many forms every day. We lose a loved one or a large sales account. We lose our first love or maybe the job we thought we couldn’t live without. Sometimes, it may be a positive question. How about hitting a large goal and wondering what to aim for next? I love phrases or words that when spoken can mean so many different things to a vast amount of people.

Many years ago, I had a friend who was a great tennis player. He was an even better person and quite the proficient salesman. One day, we were out together working on a few business dealings and he told me something that I have held on to for all the years that have followed. When in doubt, when you cannot find words to politely describe something you can never go wrong with “that was amazing,” or “that is interesting.” Think about it. We instinctively become disarmed when someone tells us that something we have poured our hearts into is amazing. We all want to be interesting. It is skillful to praise someone for their effort without personally enjoying what they deliver. Is it hurtful to let them think it is good? Actually, does it really matter if you don’t like it as long as they are satisfied with the product they have delivered? Yes, sometimes it matters when it comes to business dealings but in day to day life be polite and leave them with a smile.

So now I go back to the original question I posed in the first line: Where do we go from here? The negative tone that question has can be changed. It is up to us. If the answer is a negative start there and move up. Look at yourself each day and ask the same question. Did you answer it in the positive today? What about the day before? After a few days momentum begins, and the goals become bigger. There was a time in my life I was a highly fit, competitive, and eager athlete. Let’s just say that I am not that person as I sit here and write this. I can be honest and say that I have asked myself this question repeatedly. Some days I get a complimentary review but a majority of the time it is disappointing. A couple of weeks ago I walked a 5k. The excuse for walking was to hang with my dad since he came out. That was a reason, and a great one but the real reason I walked was because I can no longer run 3.1 miles. That is sad, humiliating, and a touch depressing. Where do I go from here? Easy, I start jogging some while continuing the walking. Add more jogging and maybe a bit of running. Run 3.1 miles and see where that takes me.

This is so simple to achieve. It is also easy not to achieve as well. Where do we go from here? When you wake up tomorrow you get to decide. I hope your choice is the one you want. You never know what interesting and amazing things are out there.

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Keep Your Time or Share it Wisely

As I was out with my wife today, playing Santa’s elves, delivering items to tenants while taking pictures of the properties I had a thought about direction and logistics. We had the addresses, a GPS, and a promising idea at the order we needed to go in to make it as smooth as possible. Time, that precious commodity that is the great equalizer was our ruler. How quickly could we accomplish the task so that we could move to the next goal of the day? This was our intention and our number one goal as the engine cranked and we headed to the first house.

When I am out in the truck I really enjoy listening to podcasts about a wide range of topics. Michelle and I will discuss the episode, the car beside us, the building going up, and for sure what is for lunch as that time approaches. We hit the first batch of houses contemplating some realty items, checking out house colors, and looking at Christmas decorations along the way. Time marched on and at this point it was on our side. As we moved to the next area of concentration a couple of scheduled side stops fit in our logistics model perfectly. By now we were listening to a podcast about the latest news in IndyCar. The guest was riveting, the conversation lively, and Michelle and I soaked it in like the warm rays through the windshield.

After another stop along the way it was time to eat lunch. After a typical husband and wife discussion the choice was made and time marched on. We felt like we were making great progress towards completion of another successful day. The clock doesn’t care about traffic, construction, little ladies walking groceries across the street, or business lines. As we aimed the truck towards the heart of downtown Winter Haven the progress slowed just a bit. Wow, what that town has become since I was a kid hauling ass around the streets, first on my bicycle, then as a stupid high schooler with my best friend. Sorry, I digress. The city appears to be going through a continual rebirth and construction and traffic issues are the main by-product. Although this was a minor glitch in our grand plan, the elves charged on from house to house. Pictures were taken, and goodies were received with smiles and hugs. It is nice when tenants are happy.

Have you ever been running and hit a wall? Have you ever needed to turn left but could only go right? The adage of my old fire chief was the fall isn’t what hurts, it’s the sudden stop at the end. Progress is amazing, but the ability to pivot when necessary is also a blessing. We had just delivered to one house and were rounding the corner for another when our day took a right instead of a left and we just stopped suddenly. The phone call was important and directive. The candy was put away, so were the smiles, and support became the objective. It is funny how crucial time is to you when you have something important to do. Well, it is important to you. The schedule was put aside, and others became the focus. Before I move further, all is okay, and we are all going to have more time.

We shifted our path and headed the opposite direction we were intending. Time was still moving and for those involved it was moving quicker. It doesn’t, but we cannot process the data streaming through our conscious quickly enough to slow it down. Processes become regimented, focused, and completely goal oriented. Wait, that is how my day started but this wasn’t for us, this was for someone else. My time was to be shared with someone else. They needed it more than I did. I needed to get to them so that they could utilize my time the best way they saw fit because their time was going too quickly.

Destinations are funny. We all have them. Some we want to get to, others the trip is the fun part, but then there are times when the trip and the destination isn’t that much fun. It is not until you arrive and look inside the destination that you find out if the trip was good or bad. This trip was good. I mean, it was terrible, but it was good in the end. Getting to support someone else during their trip, aiding in their comfort, and easing burdens was simply our destination. A smile and common face made the trip worthwhile. The time can never be replaced, and let me tell you, I cherish my time, but I am honored that I was asked to give up my time so that someone else could utilize it today.

Tomorrow is another day and my time will start over. I am excited that I get to use part of that time to get my daughter to another barn so that she can continue to chase her dream that she so diligently pursues. I also get to watch one of my former players achieve his goal of walking across the stage to accept his diploma. The journey was not smooth, the sacrifices were many for a lot of people involved in his life, and I know that he will continue to pursue his greatness. Time was not our friend while we were together, the clock ran out before the ultimate goal was achieved but we both have pivoted to the next chapter to try again. As the hours pass and the days become nights the contemplation of achievement is inevitable. How many of us really appreciate the time we have, maximize the use, and truly enjoy the moments we get?

Time doesn’t care about what you want. It continues to tick away, and it is up to us how we use it. We control our time and we also control who we want to share our time with. Pick wisely, some people will accept it with gratitude, but others will steal your time for themselves. Enjoy your weekend and the time it allows you use.

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