Performance…. That word can be connected to other words. It was a great performance, subpar performance, so so performance, a performance that was out of this world, piss poor performance, and peak performance. This one word evokes emotion for those that it becomes attached to and can affect results for a period of time. It doesn’t matter if it’s business, medicine, or even sports performance matters.
How we judge performances varies upon what it is that is happening. If we are watching our favorite concert and the show is everything we wanted, we give a standing ovation. If we ace a test we get accolades from friends and family. When we see a beautiful sunset or sunrise we might say mother nature hit it out of the park. Sports is the one area where a good performance can be judged with a “W” and a bad performance gets you the “L”.
The sports performance is where most of my time is spent. Although I hate that my entire worth as a coach is based on W’s and L’s it sure pushed me to get the most out of my athletes. There worth, rather correct or incorrect, is also judged upon the same criteria from stakeholders and friends. If they win most don’t care if they played badly and what’s even stranger, if they lose it is of no consequence if they played the match of their life but came out on the wrong end of the score. This is where I have an issue. Of course I want them to win but I also feel that you cannot control whether you win or lose. You can only control the effort you put into the performance. Furthermore, you can influence your probability of winning if the work you put in during the practice time is also rated as high performance. Athletes cannot expect to win if the effort outside of competition is less than the effort put forth during actual play.
There have been many moments as a coach where I have watched a player get beat, there is a difference in getting beat versus losing, knowing that they have done as much work as possible and have done their best during the competition only to come out on the wrong end of the score. They come off knowing that based on the L next to their name they have failed. It is the rare athlete that can judge their own performance on the merits of the event and not by a letter associated with it. We have been so force fed winning and losing as the ultimate success measure. I agree that winning feels a lot better than losing but if an athlete doesn’t perform to the level they feel they should, even when they are victorious, there is a feeling of being incomplete. Sometimes athletes win because they have more talent and not necessarily because they had an outstanding performance. This knowledge base for an athlete is a high level of competency and is rare.
Rating performances is human nature and will continue to be so for as long as we are keeping score. The entertainment industry has even turned singing and dancing into a sport. Is there nothing left that we can enjoy just for the sure pleasure of watching a great performance? I know that I am critical because it is my job and I am judged on my success. The next time you are watching a great performance enjoy it and save the judging for someone else. Oh yeah, what was the performance of this post? Just kidding.
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Sunday, February 26, 2017
I Quit...Wait, Maybe Not...No, I Quit...Let Me Think About It More
I quit! This is a phrase that just doesn’t come out of my mouth well or enough. There have been many things that I should have walked away from or learned a lesson quicker than I did. Of course, there are times when it is easy to walk away. When the yard is mowed, edged, and weed eaten, and you stare at the glory of the yard you are good. When you shake hands at the end of a golf or tennis match, complete the race, or hear the sound of the final buzzer you know the end has come. How do you quit when you don’t know if there is success or just more wasted energy? What earns the moniker, “He put up a good fight”, or “At least you got experience and know what not to do next time”?
These questions have haunted me for years and with many different experiences. There have been some amazing successes and there have also been some, what could have beens. During the successes, the effort was at a high and in the end seemed to justify the work that was required to get there. The funny thing is the failures, or experiences, also required a lot of effort and tireless energy. What led to success was not that much different from what was also deemed a failure. Is there something inside that drives us more on one thing versus the other?
Still, is there a point when you just should walk away? The investment you made that just hasn’t panned out. The diet you have tried. The career you thought you loved. The sport you took up. Is there a stopping point or just a reevaluation of what you really want out of it? I wish I had the answer because it would shore up many frustrations that I have and surely others share as well. What makes quitting so difficult to me is knowing that there has been so much blood, sweat, tears, and time put in to make it successful. I fight thinking that there is something else I can do to change the outcome to something that is more in my favor but I don’t know if it will really matter. Quitting has such a negative connotation but failing is how we learn what doesn’t work. Having this knowledge still doesn’t prepare us for the emotional rollercoaster between stop and go. Although this line of thought is something I think about daily I also know there is so much good that happens every day it is something that passes as soon as the next task hits the table. I am sure there will be a time that the answer hits me. I hope the lesson is swift and the consequences for not deciding are not too costly. Trust your gut and remember, everyone has an opinion but you are the one who needs to live for you. Go get what you want and ponder that consequences aren’t necessarily always negative.
These questions have haunted me for years and with many different experiences. There have been some amazing successes and there have also been some, what could have beens. During the successes, the effort was at a high and in the end seemed to justify the work that was required to get there. The funny thing is the failures, or experiences, also required a lot of effort and tireless energy. What led to success was not that much different from what was also deemed a failure. Is there something inside that drives us more on one thing versus the other?
Still, is there a point when you just should walk away? The investment you made that just hasn’t panned out. The diet you have tried. The career you thought you loved. The sport you took up. Is there a stopping point or just a reevaluation of what you really want out of it? I wish I had the answer because it would shore up many frustrations that I have and surely others share as well. What makes quitting so difficult to me is knowing that there has been so much blood, sweat, tears, and time put in to make it successful. I fight thinking that there is something else I can do to change the outcome to something that is more in my favor but I don’t know if it will really matter. Quitting has such a negative connotation but failing is how we learn what doesn’t work. Having this knowledge still doesn’t prepare us for the emotional rollercoaster between stop and go. Although this line of thought is something I think about daily I also know there is so much good that happens every day it is something that passes as soon as the next task hits the table. I am sure there will be a time that the answer hits me. I hope the lesson is swift and the consequences for not deciding are not too costly. Trust your gut and remember, everyone has an opinion but you are the one who needs to live for you. Go get what you want and ponder that consequences aren’t necessarily always negative.
What I Learned From Grandparents
Pancakes and sausage is always a good breakfast. Maybe not the healthiest but man do they taste good. The annual Kiwanis Club all you can eat pancake breakfast is a huge fundraiser every year but that is not what this is about. It is about my wife’s grandfather and his love of service. You see, he recently passed away but when I walked in to eat, the first thing I thought about was how much he loved this day. He was service personified. He maintained perfect attendance for 50 plus years and he lived to help. He gave his time, which was invaluable, and his money but it was the direct contact that made him so special. He would be proud to see his legacy continue. His wife, daughter, son-in-law, and great granddaughter were there serving in multiple capacities. It was a good time and a good memory.
There are other times I think of those we have lost as well. My Memaw passed away a few years ago, but she pops up many times. When she was mobile she was everywhere. If there was an event for her grandchildren or great grandchildren she attended. She continually complained about being cold or where she had to park but she was there. She would get her walker, her sweater, and her iced tea and off she would go. From dance halls, to soccer fields, tennis courts, volleyball courts, horse arenas, race tracks, and the random family event. She loved supporting her family and if she didn’t like something that you were doing she would tell you. I still carry a letter that she wrote me when I was 23. I had made a few decisions that she felt were not conducive to my future and she let me know to stop wasting what God had given me. She was a pain in the butt but she loved us and there are moments when I am by myself that I miss her immensely.
Lastly, I think about my granddaddy from time to time. He was a racer, master mechanic, business owner, and a hard ass. He loved his family but the demons were too strong. His knowledge of building and being a mechanic were huge in my eyes. I wanted him to share that vast data base but he never did. He built race cars, constructed commercial buildings, and his own house boat. I remember seeing it beside the old shop and then fishing on it where it was in port. There was a long time in my life that he was bigger than life. He taught me many lessons. The exciting part is that all the lessons were important. Some were lessons that I would like to follow and others were lessons that I would like to make sure I never repeat.
We know that we cannot keep family with us forever but we can keep the memories. There are many that pop up during my weeks and I keep the love they shared close. I loved them when they were around and am glad that they taught even if they didn’t mean to do it.
There are other times I think of those we have lost as well. My Memaw passed away a few years ago, but she pops up many times. When she was mobile she was everywhere. If there was an event for her grandchildren or great grandchildren she attended. She continually complained about being cold or where she had to park but she was there. She would get her walker, her sweater, and her iced tea and off she would go. From dance halls, to soccer fields, tennis courts, volleyball courts, horse arenas, race tracks, and the random family event. She loved supporting her family and if she didn’t like something that you were doing she would tell you. I still carry a letter that she wrote me when I was 23. I had made a few decisions that she felt were not conducive to my future and she let me know to stop wasting what God had given me. She was a pain in the butt but she loved us and there are moments when I am by myself that I miss her immensely.
Lastly, I think about my granddaddy from time to time. He was a racer, master mechanic, business owner, and a hard ass. He loved his family but the demons were too strong. His knowledge of building and being a mechanic were huge in my eyes. I wanted him to share that vast data base but he never did. He built race cars, constructed commercial buildings, and his own house boat. I remember seeing it beside the old shop and then fishing on it where it was in port. There was a long time in my life that he was bigger than life. He taught me many lessons. The exciting part is that all the lessons were important. Some were lessons that I would like to follow and others were lessons that I would like to make sure I never repeat.
We know that we cannot keep family with us forever but we can keep the memories. There are many that pop up during my weeks and I keep the love they shared close. I loved them when they were around and am glad that they taught even if they didn’t mean to do it.
Friday, February 24, 2017
The Six Mentors and a College Team
Oops, I missed a day writing yesterday. When I walked into the house last evening it was around 11:20 and I just wanted to crawl into the bed as barn duties were just around the corner. The reason for the late night was because I was hanging with the team for one of our rare late night practices. On top of the practice the team had an opportunity to interact with six acquaintances from my time in the tennis industry. These men ranged from a recent college graduate, an ENT (ears, nose, and throat doctor), an insurance guy with massive ties in the tennis industry, a very good teaching pro, a former college coach, and a successful business owner. These men have taken their time to mentor the team and give back in the best way they can. They are all accomplished tennis players. All of them had great, some would say spectacular, college careers and then have used that to become what they all are today. They were open, transparent, and didn’t pull any punches with the talent they saw versus where the players were within the scope of the team. Since I don’t have an assistant having other voices confirm, and at times giving a different voice, what we are striving for is a great help.
Tennis is such an individual pursuit when a player is competing that we often forget that it takes a great group to get to that point. There are the coaches, trainers, strength coaches, training crew, and hours of work to get to the point that player is looking across the net at his singular opponent. Many players have a small group of friends that are great at support but bad at giving the hard advice. This is where this group of six comes in to fill that void. They have nothing to gain, are already successful in their chosen field, and have been in the battles themselves. When a player complains about whatever it is they want to complain about these guys have a response that once was told to them. Experience is a teacher that is best told straight. No matter how many times I say it I am the coach and for most of the time the only voice they hear. Once that message comes from someone else there is a confirmation that gives credence to what they have heard. Some of the funny moments from last evening was when the players asked about me. I am usually brutally honest with my team and sometimes the things I say seem a bit outrageous. It was humorous to hear those stories verified by the group of six last night. The faces on the players were a mixture of “oh okay,” and “shoot, he wasn’t pulling our leg.”
It is impossible to thank the six for taking so much of their time and spending it with the team but I cannot wait until they can do it again. The team is great group of guys and I want them to be as successful as they desire. I missed writing last night but it was worth of hour of missed sleep. Find the group that can push your desires out of your comfort zone and you will more than likely reach what you are searching for.
Tennis is such an individual pursuit when a player is competing that we often forget that it takes a great group to get to that point. There are the coaches, trainers, strength coaches, training crew, and hours of work to get to the point that player is looking across the net at his singular opponent. Many players have a small group of friends that are great at support but bad at giving the hard advice. This is where this group of six comes in to fill that void. They have nothing to gain, are already successful in their chosen field, and have been in the battles themselves. When a player complains about whatever it is they want to complain about these guys have a response that once was told to them. Experience is a teacher that is best told straight. No matter how many times I say it I am the coach and for most of the time the only voice they hear. Once that message comes from someone else there is a confirmation that gives credence to what they have heard. Some of the funny moments from last evening was when the players asked about me. I am usually brutally honest with my team and sometimes the things I say seem a bit outrageous. It was humorous to hear those stories verified by the group of six last night. The faces on the players were a mixture of “oh okay,” and “shoot, he wasn’t pulling our leg.”
It is impossible to thank the six for taking so much of their time and spending it with the team but I cannot wait until they can do it again. The team is great group of guys and I want them to be as successful as they desire. I missed writing last night but it was worth of hour of missed sleep. Find the group that can push your desires out of your comfort zone and you will more than likely reach what you are searching for.
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
You're Not My Boss and I'll Wear What I Want
Today it hit me that there was more to talk about from my discussion with my players from last evening. One of them mentioned that they couldn’t imagine working for anybody else and have someone else determine their schedule and how much they make. Another player mentioned that he would never work anywhere that had a dress code or uniform. If you can ponder that for a moment, there is small guarantee that we discussed this further.
First, we will discuss working for yourself versus not. It doesn’t really matter whether you are corporate, small business, or an entrepreneur you are working for someone. If you are corporate employee there are business hours, holidays, paid vacation, and a particular clientele that you are trying to gain. If you are a small business you also have business hours, holidays become optional, you probably aren’t getting paid on vacation, but you still have a certain clientele you are trying to gain. As an entrepreneur, you mirror the small business but you may not have the overhead attached to an office or as much staff but you still are going after the clientele needed to be successful. The part that became the argument for the evening was that if they worked for themselves they did not have to work for anybody. I attempted to make the point that no matter what you do you are always working for someone. If you are working for a corporation you are working for a boss who is working for shareholders. If you have a small business or are an entrepreneur, you are still working for someone. These people you are working for are your customers. If you teach tennis you work for those you are trying to teach. If you are a realtor you are working for the seller or the buyer. An attorney works for his client. It doesn’t matter what you do and if you work for yourself you are going to work for someone.
The second part was the whole dress code/uniform debate. This is just a fun argument but I feel has a lot of validity. Doctors wear white robes, painters wear white clothes, teachers wear flats and teacher clothes. I coach college tennis so there are a lot of red and grey polos with khaki shorts. Even though over the past few years the dress has become more casual there are still industries that wear suites every day. Think about going to Starbucks, McDonald’s, Publix, etc. and you know what they are wearing and if they are in management or just staff. We all wear a uniform or have a dress code. Even when we want to be a rebel there is a dress code for that. When I was in high school you would have been Goth. When I was in college you were a granola. It doesn’t really matter what the industry is or what your profession is you are going to wear what is demanded to be successful in your position. It is very rare that those that abandon what is accepted that they succeed. We all want to be individuals and have our own style. That is awesome if it fits with what we are trying to be successful doing.
These conversations are incredibly fun and it is awesome when they fight back. It just means that they are thinking. I am not saying I am correct I am just saying what I have seen during all my time observing those working for their clients. So for all of you who don’t want to work for anybody make sure you wear your uniform.
First, we will discuss working for yourself versus not. It doesn’t really matter whether you are corporate, small business, or an entrepreneur you are working for someone. If you are corporate employee there are business hours, holidays, paid vacation, and a particular clientele that you are trying to gain. If you are a small business you also have business hours, holidays become optional, you probably aren’t getting paid on vacation, but you still have a certain clientele you are trying to gain. As an entrepreneur, you mirror the small business but you may not have the overhead attached to an office or as much staff but you still are going after the clientele needed to be successful. The part that became the argument for the evening was that if they worked for themselves they did not have to work for anybody. I attempted to make the point that no matter what you do you are always working for someone. If you are working for a corporation you are working for a boss who is working for shareholders. If you have a small business or are an entrepreneur, you are still working for someone. These people you are working for are your customers. If you teach tennis you work for those you are trying to teach. If you are a realtor you are working for the seller or the buyer. An attorney works for his client. It doesn’t matter what you do and if you work for yourself you are going to work for someone.
The second part was the whole dress code/uniform debate. This is just a fun argument but I feel has a lot of validity. Doctors wear white robes, painters wear white clothes, teachers wear flats and teacher clothes. I coach college tennis so there are a lot of red and grey polos with khaki shorts. Even though over the past few years the dress has become more casual there are still industries that wear suites every day. Think about going to Starbucks, McDonald’s, Publix, etc. and you know what they are wearing and if they are in management or just staff. We all wear a uniform or have a dress code. Even when we want to be a rebel there is a dress code for that. When I was in high school you would have been Goth. When I was in college you were a granola. It doesn’t really matter what the industry is or what your profession is you are going to wear what is demanded to be successful in your position. It is very rare that those that abandon what is accepted that they succeed. We all want to be individuals and have our own style. That is awesome if it fits with what we are trying to be successful doing.
These conversations are incredibly fun and it is awesome when they fight back. It just means that they are thinking. I am not saying I am correct I am just saying what I have seen during all my time observing those working for their clients. So for all of you who don’t want to work for anybody make sure you wear your uniform.
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
Kids, Get Uncomfortable
Having a large team has its benefits but also its downfalls. One of those is the inability to really spend time with the guys who don’t often travel with the team. When you have a roster of 16 and only travel with 8 there is a group that will always be left behind. There are rare occasions where the roles are reversed and those guys get to become the main players. Today was one of those days and it was an enlightening experience. I ask a lot of my guys and in turn they deliver on the court, the classroom, and when they leave to go out into the world. Tonight, the group that played away from home got the royal treatment of pointed questions. When they answered the first there was another one followed immediately by another. The reasoning behind these questions is to get them to think about what they are doing in college in the first place.
Let me preface this next paragraph with this: I am an American, I live close to home, and I am very comfortable. I push my players far beyond where I have gone because I see what I did wrong or passed up and do not want them to get comfortable with where they are. I want them to realize how much is available if they are willing to stretch a bit. On this beautiful Florida evening the main question was asking what they were going to be doing for internships and what they were looking for outside of school. The answers from the six involved in the conversation were sad if not alarming. Everyone wanted something close to home, some had not even started looking, and others were playing it safe and having fun this summer. I was amazed that some were not even pursuing internships in what they were studying. Why waste your time? Here was another question. “Are you planning on living with your parents when you finish school?” (Of course not was my thought) “Yes, I will until I find what I think I might like to do.” What? Are you kidding me? The next part was even more eye opening because they just don’t know. “Hey, you could go to ___________ country, couldn’t you?” “Yes, I might do that once I am established here.” My response was direct. “No, you won’t. Once you are established here you will not want to risk leaving because you will be making a living and won’t want to risk losing that to start over. Why don’t you go as soon as you graduate to see if you like it and maybe you could have success elsewhere.” His response is the reason for this entire post. “My mom likes to have me around and wants the best for me.” Really, the best for you is to not go to where you might want to go because your mom wants you close. Whose life are you living? Yours or your moms. This is not meant to be mean but you must do what you want or you will never live.
I am a parent with my own daughter who is chasing her dream. It is not mine or my wife’s. We would be negligent as parents to tell our daughter that she can’t do something because we want her close to us. She needs to experience things and to find out if she likes something by doing it. The more you do the more you find out what you like and dislike. Your opinion is invalid if you haven’t tried it or done it. I have 16 guys that I am accountable to every day. I cannot change how they were raised but I can let them know that it is okay to want more and to demand that they attempt more. I will not be their parents but I will also tell them that parents do want what is safe for each kid. Not always what is best. This last statement I feel is true because we hate to see our kids fail or suffer. Do we forget that we are what we are because of what we went through? Allow your kids to suffer and let them stretch. The most successful players I have every dealt with have put themselves in the most uncomfortable positions. Stretch, you may surprise yourself.
Monday, February 20, 2017
I'm Just Going To Work
I saw a turkey this morning. So what you say? Well, the turkey was right outside my front door when my wife and I were heading to the barn. The barn always has its moments as well. As we crested the hill the low clouds were just above the horses. You could see the bright green rye grass and the ponies off in the distance but just above there was the slightest fog. When I left to go on my morning run I saw to quail crossing the street. Even though I live in a small town, or village for my European players, there is a certain hustle and bustle that occurs. The landscapers are out manicuring yards, the citrus workers are moving tractors with spray decks or hauling the lessening amount of fruit to the plants for processing, and the locals are getting their morning coffee or cigarettes from the local store. Today the sky was a beautiful blue and the air was warmer than it has been recently. The fire trucks were getting spiffed up for another day of service and by the time I ran back they were neatly tucked away in their bays waiting to be called out. The squirrels are always playing their own brand of keep away with the cars that pass. I think it is called keep away from the approaching tires. When they lose, it can be a flattening experience. It appears the county needs to come in and maintain the shoulder of the road. The grass has made the bike/running lane about half the normal size but hey, at least we have that.
Most of us commute to work and I am fortunate enough to have a fairly easy one. I take three highways and a couple of community streets and bingo I am there. Most days I get to spend about an hour listening to podcast and looking out at the world around me. I know, it must get monotonous going the same way every day. Oh, on the contrary, the drive is a chance to see what the world, at least my world is doing. We are fortunate to have a large CSX transfer station so you never know when the large freight train will pause your trip. Some of them can be quite long. I am always curious what interesting or hazardous items may be in those railcars. If you want to see pastures hop a ride with me some day. This is not any big city driving. The calves have either been produced or purchased because they are all over the pastures right now. The local Camping World has just gotten some new Class A’s and some very interesting towable campers. Once I get to the county seat I am about half way there. The rest of the drive becomes a little busy, for small town people, but nevertheless still entertaining. The exercise trail is always busy with those who have a dream or time on their hands. I am still amazed at how many things people can do while driving.
As I turn at the fast food restaurant I realize the journey is almost over. Everyday there are people at the bus stop, joggers on the trail, bikers on the path, and students commuting from apartments to classrooms. The lake has its moments of tranquility and today there were pelicans going for a swim. Seeing something different on a familiar drive day after day helps break up the time that must be spent getting there. Looking for things instead of just clocking miles makes the journey enjoyable and less mundane. I could cuss catching the same lights every day or get angry because people won’t get out of the fast lane or even take solace in seeing the speeding jerk get caught at the same light as me but I don’t.
Curiosity allows me to want to see things that may not matter in my every day but when I notice them they spark the internal question center. Why was there a turkey in my yard? How much does he smoke? How in the hell does she do that while driving? Is that a cow calf ranch or a herd replacement facility? How much is that RV? I wonder why they are in such a hurry? I wonder if the squirrel makes it if he gets in the club? Just another day on the way to work.
Most of us commute to work and I am fortunate enough to have a fairly easy one. I take three highways and a couple of community streets and bingo I am there. Most days I get to spend about an hour listening to podcast and looking out at the world around me. I know, it must get monotonous going the same way every day. Oh, on the contrary, the drive is a chance to see what the world, at least my world is doing. We are fortunate to have a large CSX transfer station so you never know when the large freight train will pause your trip. Some of them can be quite long. I am always curious what interesting or hazardous items may be in those railcars. If you want to see pastures hop a ride with me some day. This is not any big city driving. The calves have either been produced or purchased because they are all over the pastures right now. The local Camping World has just gotten some new Class A’s and some very interesting towable campers. Once I get to the county seat I am about half way there. The rest of the drive becomes a little busy, for small town people, but nevertheless still entertaining. The exercise trail is always busy with those who have a dream or time on their hands. I am still amazed at how many things people can do while driving.
As I turn at the fast food restaurant I realize the journey is almost over. Everyday there are people at the bus stop, joggers on the trail, bikers on the path, and students commuting from apartments to classrooms. The lake has its moments of tranquility and today there were pelicans going for a swim. Seeing something different on a familiar drive day after day helps break up the time that must be spent getting there. Looking for things instead of just clocking miles makes the journey enjoyable and less mundane. I could cuss catching the same lights every day or get angry because people won’t get out of the fast lane or even take solace in seeing the speeding jerk get caught at the same light as me but I don’t.
Curiosity allows me to want to see things that may not matter in my every day but when I notice them they spark the internal question center. Why was there a turkey in my yard? How much does he smoke? How in the hell does she do that while driving? Is that a cow calf ranch or a herd replacement facility? How much is that RV? I wonder why they are in such a hurry? I wonder if the squirrel makes it if he gets in the club? Just another day on the way to work.
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