43 - Now: My Story to 49

 43 - Now

A couple of weeks ago I woke up realizing I was turning 49 in less than a month. No, I am not worried about getting older, I was pumped because I was turning 49 and how cool it was to be a prime number. Oops, about three seconds later I realized that 49 is not a prime number and that neat phenomena wasn’t going to happen until I turn 53. However, the fact that 49 can be divided equally into 7 equal parts of 7 led me to realize that, with some minor overlap, my life has really worked well in the 7-year increments. So, to appease my own curiosity and to cathartically get it out, I decided to write about each of my 7-year segments leading up to turning 49. 

If you have made it to today, thank you for taking your precious time that you will never get back to look back on my life.  It has been fun for me to get it down on paper.  There have been so many moments, and man, I have had a great life.  I am looking forward to continuing this journey for many more years.  Hopefully, there are more amazing stories to put in my memory banks.

 At 43, I was finishing up my 7^th year at FSC and heading into the 8^th year.  There was not any racing happening, and every free moment we had was predominately spent making H&W Stables beautiful.  There were moments of fun, and when I could, I would steal time away.  The only way to avoid the barn was to leave town.  So, to do that, I would go work camps.  Being a college coach had some really nice perks.  Besides being dressed in great Adidas clothing every year, I had the opportunity to work with potential college players at camps run by the Rock n Roll tennis coach, Ed Krass.  I would work camps at USF and Lehigh University.  Most of the time I was only scheduled to work one week, but I would always put my name in to stay for the second week.  Also, when I would go to PA, for that camp, I would drive up to take a couple of more days of a break.  This also allowed me to check out some of the northeastern racetracks like Pocono Speedway, Watkins Glen, and Lime Rock Park.  Coaching was going well and Brianna was getting better and better with her eventing skills.

One of my goals as a parent was to allow Brianna to pursue something at the same level, or even higher, as I had while I was growing up.  Since I was in my mid-forties, 44, and was not pursuing anything, it was the perfect time for her to chase the “big time”.  Everything was sacrificed and that year, Michelle, Brianna, and Ruthie, along with Sam and Mae, would travel fairly consistently, three to four weekends a month up to horse world, basically Ocala, to train and compete in the eventing space.  That left Ken and me at the barn to handle all the weekend chores.  The funny thing about that, I will only speak for myself, I did not even like taking care of the horses.  Heck, I was only doing this for Brianna, and she was not even here.  She was chasing her dream of qualifying for nationals.  I cannot tell you how many times during that year that I would get a phone call that Gabe, Brianna’s first eventing horse, had ejected her during one of the cross country runs.  She persisted, they got better, and her moment in the sun arrived.  Late that fall, Brianna qualified for the AEC’s in Tryon, NC.  She did it.  At 14 years old she was getting to compete at the highest stage available to her at her level. 

 Even though most of the time was spent at the barn or walking the courts at FSC, we did steal away some great family moments that had nothing to do with tennis or horses.  Yes, sometimes it was hard to get Brianna to go with us, and yes, there were a few times that she did not go, or could not go.  I was fortunate and privileged to recruit a player named Brian Wilson.  Ironically, his family was also involved in racing.  Well, they were entrenched in the professional car racing that I thoroughly enjoyed.  His father asked us if we wanted to go to some races and if we did, he could get us some tickets.  Well, I have never felt like royalty at a racetrack, but for the next few years, we were afforded the opportunity to watch multiple IMSA races from hospitality suites at multiple amazing racecourses.  We went to Road America in WI, Road Atlanta in GA, Daytona International Speedway, and Sebring International Raceway.  We got hot laps around the track, great meals prepared by the team chef, and could go almost anywhere on the circuit we wanted.  Spending that time with such high-quality racers, mechanics, marketing wizards, etc. was quite an experience for the entire family.  The awe on Brianna’s face at some of the things we got to see were moments I will treasure forever.  Even during these times, I could see the discipline in Brianna.  She missed events like this so that she could compete to stack points towards her ultimate goal.

One of the coolest trips we got to do as a family was when we stayed in Laramie, WY for 10 days, Well the entire trip was 10 days, but it was awesome.  The logistics necessary to make it happen was stupendous.  Brianna was in final training for nationals, had to compete in regionals, and had the state 4H show.  Michelle was knee deep in the real estate world and I was going to be in PA working a weeklong camp.  The trip came to be because of the great generosity of Dean Clower and his family.  Dean is the head coach at the University of Wyoming, and we met at the ITA convention the December before.  He said we could stay at his house and visit places all around Laramie and Cheyenne.  Well, the wheels started to turn.  We scheduled it between Brianna’s competitions and trainings.  Heck, the morning she and Michelle caught their plane to Grand Island, NE, Brianna rode her horse to get one last ride.  I took their main luggage with me in the Jeep when I headed up to PA.  After camp, I started driving from PA to NE to pick them up from the airport.  Once I retrieved them, we continued west to WY.  Wow, what a place.  We hiked, slept with no air conditioning, toured the university, saw moose, and a gazillion antelope.  We also got to spend an entire day at Frontier Days at the Cheyenne Rodeo.  I am a huge Lane Frost fan, and this is the rodeo where he lost his life.  We even got to spend a day in Denver, CO where we met up with a former player from FSC, Kirk Kucin, and have lunch.  It was just awesome.

 

Once the trip was concluded the three-day ride home was just as nice.  We took back roads the first day, saw the world’s largest ball of twine, and even toured the original Bass Pro Shop.  Well, it is the new original, but it is the town where it all started.  Right after we got back, Brianna had just a few weeks until she was gone with Michelle for her national debut.  That trip really led me to a huge decision.  This would be my last year as a college tennis coach.  We kept it quiet, and I finally announced it to Pete Meyer, the FSC Director of Athletics, midway through the spring semester.  You see, even though I did not get to watch Brianna compete much, between needing to stay at the barn so Michelle and Ruthie could go with her, and the fact that what she does scares the shit out of me, I missed a lot of her life.  She was going to be 15 in 2017 and I would only have three more years with her at home.  I could not make up for the lost time, but I could be there before 8:30 at night.  I also did not really want to coach until I was 50 and this season allowed me the opportunity to leave with a large class of seniors.  Lastly, I was kind of done fighting the good fight.  I loved the kids, the training regiment, the travel, the drive to work every day, and had developed some great friendships, but some of the competitive fire was just dying.  When I finally was at peace with my decision, the year was a lot of fun.  I had not told the team as we entered the conference tournament.  I just wanted them to have clear heads as they had a tough task ahead of them.  If we defeated Rollins, we were pretty much guaranteed a spot in Regionals.  If we lost, their season, and my career were over.  Well, we fought all the way to the final match and we lost as close of a match as I have ever seen.  It was a fantastically fought affair and I was so proud of the effort.  As I walked to shake Ron’s hand, I grabbed him and told him I was done and thanked him for the years of competition.  Unbeknownst to me, a couple of players heard what I told him.  This led to one of my largest personal breakdowns I have ever had.  I was excited for my future, but I was sorry that it ended in this fashion.

 

The day I walked out of Florida Southern was a sad day.  As excited as I was to join Michelle in the real estate office, I was sad that such a great job and experiences that went along with it was over.  After 10 years at FSC, I had developed a relationship with many people in the athletic department, who I still think about fondly today and just by locking that door one last time, it was over.  What many people did not know, was about a week after I told Pete I was leaving FSC, Michelle was diagnosed with breast cancer.  We would be going through this as independent contractors and with her really being the only one that was earning a true income.  Oh yeah, we still had to take care of the barn daily.  Oh well, I was going to be around more now, and life was going to be great.  Brianna was doing well and had retired the horse that had taken her to nationals.  She was working with a new horse that was going to take her to the next level.  Oh, the plans we make. 

 

Michelle was a trooper and conquered her malady like the warrior she is.  I do not make light of it at all, but as she was during the actual battle, she does not want the light shined on her.  She always wanted the attention put on those that were in tougher battles.  So, we moved on.  Poor Brianna was not having much luck either.  Her new horse, Rio, was an outstanding horse except he liked to injure himself.  They would take a step forward, then two steps back.  This pattern would continue for the next three years.  After competing at nationals as a 14-year-old, she has not been back since.  Her horse developed anhidrosis, a non-sweating issue, that meant that he would be idle for almost a year.  After much work, expense, and more work, it was determined that he needed to drink a Pabst Blue Ribbon everyday for the rest of his life.  Damn, the horse gets a beer with breakfast.  I was slogging away in the property management department trying to learn this new industry and new life of being home all the time.  So, from 45 to 47, not much excitement was going on in our lives.  Yes, there still was some horse stuff, but not much more.

 At the end of 2019, things were starting to rebound.  Rio was getting healthy, the training was getting a little more intense, Michelle and I had developed a rhythm in the real estate, and yes, we were still working at the barn every day.  Brianna had gotten the opportunity to go to a training class up in Ocala with two world class eventers the day after Christmas.  Preparations had been made and this would be her first opportunity to show what she could do.  In the horse world, getting a working student position opens doors to many different avenues and as a young 17-year-old we were pumped that this might be something for the future.  Well, on December 21, Michelle and I were relaxing at home after our early morning chores at the barn were complete.  Brianna and her friend and student, Lacretia were out at the barn riding a couple of horses.  Brianna was warming up a pony, Sammy, that she had been training for many years.  Michelle’s phone rang and it was Brianna.  She asked us to come out to the barn because she thinks she might need some help.  She was crying and you could hear the shock in her voice.  While warming up, Sammy had spooked, reared up, knocked her out, then crashed down on top of her.  Luckily, Lacretia saw or heard her and immediately rushed to her aide.  Lacretia told us she was blue when she got to her.  I am not the most religious person, but something was watching over Brianna that morning.  Instead of rushing to try and get up, Sammy just laid there and allowed Lacretia to move him the way she needed to so that Brianna could be removed from under him.  Had he tried to get up on his own, he would have crushed her.  She was injured badly but there was no brain damage.  She had a fractured tibia and fibula.  Guess what, no horse clinic for Brianna.  Instead of being at the clinic she had worked so hard to attend the day after Christmas, she was getting a rod put in her tibia.  She was a beast during the entire process.  She never blamed the horse and could not wait to get back on the horse.  The first follow up appointment scared me but also proved what a bad ass The Pod is.  She asked the doctor if she could compete in her last Youth Fair at the end of January.  The doctor told her, “If you can handle the pain, you can ride the horse.”  Game on in Brianna’s mind.  It was not always pretty and there were more than a few moments of trepidation, but she competed and even won high point in her division...on Sammy.

 

Is there really much to talk about in the early part of 2020.  I was nearing 48, Michelle and I were trudging along with real estate and the barn and Brianna was rehabbing her leg, going to high school, and was dual enrolled at PSC.  We all know that COVID hit and the world kind of came to a standstill.  Brianna graduated and since she missed out on some horse opportunities due to the injury and pandemic, she decided to spend a semester here.  We became the home for the kids between her friends, her boyfriend Zach’s friends, and our nephew and niece.  The place was abuzz with activity.  Turning 48 really was not exciting.  Nothing was different and it was feeling like this may be it.  Oh, those dang plans!  In October I received a call from Brad Niethammer, the AD at Webber.  He wanted to talk to me about the tennis program.  The coach had left and they needed someone to fill in.  I was not interested, and I told him I would help them find a coach.  After a few days of talks I was asked if I wanted to do the position full time.  I did not but threw out a number to see if they would bite.  Well, they bit.  I told Michelle and her exact words were, “What the hell, let’s do it.”  I started coaching again in November of 2020.  I really had no desire to get back into coaching but let me tell you; getting back in with college kids lit a fire under me that I had not felt in a while.  Webber is not the way I left it, but it is better in so many ways.  The players are so nice, driven, and your typical student athlete.  As the year ended, I realized I had bitten off more than I could chew.  Oh yeah, through all this I started racing again and Brianna started a working student position in Citra.  We were not stagnant anymore.

Tennis at Webber was fairly nonexistent this semester.  We did not compete but the kids that were here trained every day.  Brianna has had a great time working her tail off for the trainers.  She comes home occasionally.  The funny thing is, she comes home to ride horses with her friends and to see her boyfriend.  I love that she feels free to be independent.  We raised her to leave, and she is doing it.  Michelle is a broker associate and is killing it in the real estate world.  Right before I turned 49, I finished my first full season of racing in almost 10 years.  Man, that felt good to be back on the road with Michelle.  Brianna is competing with Rio again and that has allowed Michelle to hit the road to watch her as well. 

 

Who knows what the next seven years has in store but if they are anything like the last 49, I better buckle up.  At some point there will be no barn to attend to daily, Brianna will come home less, and Michelle and I will be on the road again between her real estate transactions.  Life is so much fun and I am glad I’ve lived it the way I have.